Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests

There is no doubt these days

employers

Suggestion

employers'

request

Suggestion

requests

personal details while applying for a job. The Question is, is it useful and relative to give out your personal

information

while applying for

job opportunity

Suggestion

job opportunities

a job opportunity

the job opportunity

This

is considering

Suggestion

is considered

one of the most controversial issues today. In

this

essay I'm going to discuss both views and draw my own opinion. In terms of advantages of giving your personal details to the

company

that you’re seeking a job at outweigh the disadvantages of not reveal personal details. The most

reason giving

Accept comma addition

reason, giving

to support

this

claim is that your personal

information

allows you to get the privilege from the

company

. To illustrate, once you mention that you’re married and have kids

from

Suggestion

for

example you

Accept comma addition

example, you

would get other allowance

such

as health insurance and flight tickets for your family.

Suggestion

other words, mention your personal details would help you to utilize all your benefits.

Consequently

, informing employers about your personal details make you qualified to get all the allowance they offer.

However

, not submitting your personal

information

will definitely make you lose and not get the any privileges.

Firstly

, loss of privileges

such

as health insurance and flight tickets for family.

Suggestion

other words, you would lose some benefits which you deserve to get.

Secondly

, you lose the opportunity of getting any family invitations.

This

is because

company

Suggestion

the company

companies

sometimes do

Suggestion

sometimes does

annual party for employees and

who ever

whatever person

whoever

mentioned that he is married he will get invitation

otherwise

you will not get any invitations for your family as they don't know.

Therefore

, I believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of revealing your personal

information

. In Conclusion, giving out your personal

information

would make you eligible for all the

allowance

Suggestion

allowances

However

, not revealing your personal details can be significantly huge lost.

Therefore

, I believe giving your personal

information

helps the

company

to give you the best offer you deserve.

Submitted by aal_attas on Sat Nov 02 2019

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

312 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

job application
personal information
hobbies and interests
marital status
relevant
useful
privacy
assessing candidates
qualifications
experience

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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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