IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#britain #someone #home #people #nurses #government #care
Nowadays
,
Accept space
,
 in
uk
Suggestion
the UK
UK
, it is not surprising that when people become old it is often common that they have to share
thier
of them or themselves
their
 life with
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 elderly aged persons in old age houses where home nurses would take
care
 of them. In case of
experience
Suggestion
experiencing
 it is considered by many that
government
Suggestion
the government
 should pay,
however
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 completely disagree with
this
 statement and
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 believe
family
Suggestion
the family
 is the one to take
care
 of senior citizens. There are numerous reasons to say that old age people are
nartured
help develop, help grow
nurtured
 by their children's.
Firstly when
Accept comma addition
Firstly, when
 these people were young, they
nartured
help develop, help grow
nurtured
matured
 their children's. In
fact they
Accept comma addition
fact, they
 tried to full fill dreams of their children's.
In other
words they
Accept comma addition
words, they
 were the breadwinner of
thier
of them or themselves
their
family they
Accept comma addition
family, they
 earned to keep them comfortable.
For instance
 a recent survey conducted by family health and welfare shows that
a
Suggestion
an
 average Person
spend
Suggestion
spends
 approximately 70 percentage from his monthly wages for daily living
of
Suggestion
with
 family.
Therefore eventually
Accept comma addition
Therefore, eventually
 it is a responsibility of
thier
of them or themselves
their
 children's to pay expenses of parents when they are old. Another reason is to say that when they are coming to pay it would be a good opportunity to meet each other and to evaluate the
care
 their parents are receiving.
In other words
, obviously old people are certainly craving for love and affection from their children's and grand children's so
this
 would be a great chance to meet all together.
Furthermore elderly
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, elderly
 persons die hard to secure
thier
of them or themselves
their
 children's
future so
Accept comma addition
future, so
 directly it is a duty of
thier
of them or themselves
their
 family to pay for expenses. To conclude, many
thinks
Suggestion
think
 that government should settle for old age house cost while
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 think that adult children's are more responsible to take
care
 of
thier
of them or themselves
their
 parents.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Aging population
  • Elderly care
  • Nursing homes
  • Social welfare
  • Intergenerational responsibility
  • Caregiving
  • Financial burden
  • Quality of life
  • Pension funds
  • Healthcare policy
  • Taxation
  • Subsidies
  • Private insurance
  • Long-term care
  • Sustainability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: