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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

THE GROWING OF ONLINE SHOPPING WILL ONE DAY LEAD TO ALL SHOPS IN CITIES AND TOWNS CLOSING DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#shops #cities #towns
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The development of internet connection is rapidly increasing in many countries over the world.
This
Linking Words
 can be seen in daily shopping demands that were even performed at home. To support
this
Linking Words
, It is agreed that internet shopping will lead to close all shops in Cities and towns.
This
Linking Words
 essay will be shown by looking at how traditional shopping may be faded
way
from a particular thing or place or position
away
 by satisfaction of unique shopping providing by online site and lower overhead
coat
the total spent for goods or services including money and time and labor
cost
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, vital reason for closure the physical stores in
future
Suggestion
the future
 is that consumers are quite satisfied with
unique shopping experience
Suggestion
a unique shopping experience
the unique shopping experience
 provided by online sites.
This
Linking Words
 is because they have
wide variety
Suggestion
a wide variety
 of shopping options to choose
from coupled
Accept comma addition
from, coupled
 with fast and reliable delivery channels which makes most of
customers
Suggestion
the customers
 prefer e-commerce to traditional stores.
For example
Linking Words
, recently, the orders of Amazone online shopping have
commited
a statement that expresses a personal opinion or belief or adds information
commented
committed
 on delivery to
client
Suggestion
the client
clients
 with 10 business working days and provided refund policy on damage goods within 7 days of receipt.
Consequently
Linking Words
, these conveniences give a high possibility of retail stores will eventually perish Another compelling argument that the e-commerce giants will succeed over retail shops is that they have a larger capital base and lower overhead
cost
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the Ebay company has deployed many enormous marketing
program
Suggestion
programs
 of faster delivery by
drones which
Accept comma addition
drones, which
 would decrease the manpower
cost
Use synonyms
 and time.
As a result
Linking Words
, effective
managment
the act of managing something
management
 in
cost
Use synonyms
 that make these online shopping companies expand their business
sagnificantly
in a statistically significant way
significantly
thus
Linking Words
 lead to eliminate the traditional stores In conclusion, services on
site
Suggestion
the site
 have given the pleasures and delight
for
Suggestion
to
 their customer and the
effective
Suggestion
effect
effects
effectiveness
 of management
cost
Use synonyms
 will quickly develop these kind of business model.
it
Suggestion
It
 is agreed that e-commerce services will
thus
Linking Words
 replace the existing old shops
Submitted by minhky032003 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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