Some people say that the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

Nowadays many

Accept comma addition

Nowadays, many

people are seen debating on what the primary source of happiness in a person’s lifetime is. A group of people

are

Suggestion

of the opinion that financial independence and stability can make an individual live a happy life. Though

this

is correct to some extend but non-monetary things like relationships and health are

also

essential.

This

essay shall cover reasons why having ample amount of

money

can give you happiness and

also

other things which can give joy and satisfaction. Everything in the world has a price tag attached to it. The higher the price, the better the product.

For example

, to get

good education

Suggestion

a good education

you need to bear a high cost. Only a degree from a renowned university equips you with

skills

Suggestion

the skills

required to get employed at a respected job. A recent survey showed that students of LUMS, top ranked university of Pakistan, land up with a job within six months of graduation while students of low ranked institutes get the same in an average of two years.

Moreover

, only

money

with only you can travel the world, buy a car and a lot more. Without which you feel deprived and less privileged. But

money

is not the only thing that you need. Even after getting everything through

money

, you need someone to share it with.

Hence

, relationships are very important. Let’s take an example, a man earning his lavish home in his BMW after winning a million-dollar contract but has no one to share it with.

Instead

happiness

Suggestion

happiness, this is

this

is leading to depression in people.

Also

, without health you

can not

cannot

enjoy anything. You don’t feel good about anything. So mental health and strong relationships to share the special moments with

make

Suggestion

making

living happier. In conclusion, though having huge sums of

money

brings joy to one’s

life but

Accept comma addition

life, but

something

money

can’t buy and these are

also

important. In my opinion, we should not only concentrate on wealth

accumulation but

Accept comma addition

accumulation, but

also

keep a balance between other things.

Sun Nov 03 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say that the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

There is a problem with the changing rooms in the sports centre that you visit. You have complained several times but with no success. Write a letter to the manager of the sports centre.

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example, helping at home or at work). Others believe that, children should be free to enjoy their life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that Olympics games are exciting events that bring othet nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Some people feel that school should teach children how to be good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What skills people need to be a good parent?