IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#men #women #education #britain #three #periods #fulltime #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The chart illustrates
amount
thousands
 of Britain
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 in
further
 education that based on gender and
Correct article usage
the
show examples
kinds
Fix the agreement mistake
kind
show examples
 of
fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
 or
part
-
time
 studying between
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1970 and 1990. The
amount
 of
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
significantly
Add a missing verb
is significantly
show examples
 bigger than full
time
. The trend of female
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 increased either in
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
 or
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
 education, so on
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
 male
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
,
while
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
fluctuatively
Correct your spelling
lucratively
 and
trend
Correct article usage
the trend
show examples
to decrease
Change the verb form
decreased
show examples
 from the first
period
. The highest
amount
 of
part
-
time
 male
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 happened in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
period
 1970/1971 around 1000
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
,
while
 female
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 happened in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
period
 1990/1991 around 1100
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
.
On the other hand
, the highest
full-
Correct quantifier usage
number of full-time
show examples
time
student
 reached above 200
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
period
 1990/1991 either
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 or
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
. Around 150
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
 male
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 downward in
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
period
 and upward again in
third
Change the article
the third
show examples
period
. In Britain,
part
-
time
 had
much
Correct quantifier usage
more
show examples
 students than
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
 education and there was
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
rise
Change the verb form
rising
show examples
amount
 of female
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, thousands, student, part, time, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: