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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#men #women #education #britain #three #periods #fulltime #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart illustrates
amount
Use synonyms
thousands
Use synonyms
 of Britain
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 in
further
Linking Words
 education that based on gender and
Correct article usage
the
show examples
kinds
Fix the agreement mistake
kind
show examples
 of
fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
 or
part
Use synonyms
-
time
Use synonyms
 studying between
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1970 and 1990. The
amount
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
significantly
Add a missing verb
is significantly
show examples
 bigger than full
time
Use synonyms
. The trend of female
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 increased either in
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 or
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 education, so on
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 male
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
fluctuatively
Correct your spelling
lucratively
 and
trend
Correct article usage
the trend
show examples
to decrease
Change the verb form
decreased
show examples
 from the first
period
Use synonyms
. The highest
amount
Use synonyms
 of
part
Use synonyms
-
time
Use synonyms
 male
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 happened in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
period
Use synonyms
 1970/1971 around 1000
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 female
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 happened in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
period
Use synonyms
 1990/1991 around 1100
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the highest
full-
Correct quantifier usage
number of full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
student
Use synonyms
 reached above 200
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
period
Use synonyms
 1990/1991 either
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 or
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
. Around 150
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 male
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 downward in
Linking Words
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
period
Use synonyms
 and upward again in
Linking Words
third
Change the article
the third
show examples
period
Use synonyms
. In Britain,
part
Use synonyms
-
time
Use synonyms
 had
much
Correct quantifier usage
more
show examples
 students than
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 education and there was
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
rise
Change the verb form
rising
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 of female
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, thousands, student, part, time, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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