IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

"Prevention is better than cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly. So it would be better to invest in preventive measure To what extent do you agree?

#prevention #cure #diseases #measure
This
 table compares the proportion of
money
 spend on three different requirements of humans by people in five different countries. Overall, what stands out is that even though the highest percentage of
money
 goes into a group, which is
food
/ drinks/tobacco,
money
 for leisure /education is the least
money
 spend category among the three items. Focusing on Iceland and turkey, both countries' citizens spend relatively high level of
money
 on all these items. The former allocated approximately one
third
 of total earnings on
food
 related category, followed by around 7 and 2.5 percent for clothing and education respectively.
Similarly
, the latter
also
 had a
lmost similar patter
Suggestion
an almost similar patter
of expenditure, but percentage of
money
 utilization slightly higher in Tarkey, when compared to Iceland:
food
; 32.1, clothing; 6.6, and education; 4.4. Regarding remaining countries, while Swedish citizens remain at the bottom line and spend only half amount of turkey’s
food
 expenses, Italians, who is the biggest consumer of clothing in the group. Spain
,
Accept space
,
which allocated around 19% for
food
, one
third
 of
this
 amount goes towards clothing.
Submitted by Sal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventive measures
  • incidence of diseases
  • quality of life
  • complications and suffering
  • cost-effective
  • ongoing expenses
  • public health education
  • awareness campaigns
  • government policies
  • vaccinations
  • screenings
  • healthy lifestyle promotion
  • healthcare costs
  • long term benefits
  • disease prevention
  • healthcare funding
What to do next:
Look at other essays: