Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Every generation of

people

debate on how one should choose a profession in their adult life. Some think the choice of work should consider the individual's future in that profession,

whereas

others feel that young adults should be free to choose the

job

they like. In

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

we will look into both the views and the

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

why

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation should be free to choose their

jobs

. Choosing a

job

realistically would highly increase one's career growth and future

job

opportunities. Rapidly expanding organization needs more employees, and

as a result

, would create more new

high paying

Add a hyphen

high-paying

show examples

jobs

For example

, During the Information Technology boom in the year 2000, demand for IT professionals grew 15% year on year creating

high paying

Add a hyphen

high-paying

show examples

jobs

for young graduates and professionals. So realistically choosing a

job

developing

Correct article usage

a developing

show examples

field or industry would make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

climbing the corporate ladder easier for working

people

. On the other side, selecting a

job

freely based on the individual’s interest and passion would lead

Change preposition

show examples

a fulfilling and

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

satisfying career. Clearly,

people

would perform the

job

better with complete dedication and commitment, as it was chosen freely based on their

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

For example

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research shows that the performance of

people

who had chosen the

jobs

freely is on

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

average 15% more than others who did not.

Furthermore

, they greatly contribute to the success of the projects and

maintaining

Wrong verb form

maintain

show examples

a healthy relationship with other employees.

Hence

, Everyone, particularly young adults should choose the

job

freely based on their interest and liking. In Conclusion,

People

should be able to freely choose the

job

that they like as

this

leads to a fulfilling and satisfying career and life. Everyone should be able to choose the

job

and demand the pay for the

job

that they do.

Wed Nov 06 2019

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Task Achievement

Consider providing a few more concrete examples and statistics to substantiate your claims. Adding diverse and specific examples can strengthen your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure each paragraph sticks to one main idea and explore it fully before moving on to the next. This can enhance the clarity of your ideas.

Introduction

The introduction effectively sets the stage by presenting both views and outlining the structure of the essay.

Conclusion

The conclusion clearly restates your opinion and summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

Logical Structure

The paragraphs are logically structured, and the essay has a coherent flow, making it easy for readers to follow your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

7.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

7.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

7.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

career trajectory
job satisfaction
employment prospects
financial stability
job security
economically viable
harnessing potential
labor market
vocational guidance
real-world demands

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Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Your opinion

Some people think that students in high or secondary school can choose courses freely, others think that courses such as mathematics must be compulsory. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. Many people think that it is good to eat traditional food while others believe that fast food is a good choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, more people move away from their families and friends for work. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary schools. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?