Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Every generation of

people

Use synonyms

debate on how one should choose a profession in their adult life. Some think the choice of work should consider the individual's future in that profession,

whereas

Linking Words

others feel that young adults should be free to choose the

job

Use synonyms

they like. In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

we will look into both the views and the

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

why

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

generation should be free to choose their

jobs

Use synonyms

. Choosing a

job

Use synonyms

realistically would highly increase one's career growth and future

job

Use synonyms

opportunities. Rapidly expanding organization needs more employees, and

as a result

Linking Words

, would create more new

high paying

Add a hyphen

high-paying

show examples

jobs

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, During the Information Technology boom in the year 2000, demand for IT professionals grew 15% year on year creating

high paying

Add a hyphen

high-paying

show examples

jobs

Use synonyms

for young graduates and professionals. So realistically choosing a

job

Use synonyms

developing

Correct article usage

a developing

show examples

field or industry would make

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

climbing the corporate ladder easier for working

people

Use synonyms

. On the other side, selecting a

job

Use synonyms

freely based on the individual’s interest and passion would lead

Change preposition

show examples

a fulfilling and

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

satisfying career. Clearly,

people

Use synonyms

would perform the

job

Use synonyms

better with complete dedication and commitment, as it was chosen freely based on their

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

For example

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research shows that the performance of

people

Use synonyms

who had chosen the

jobs

Use synonyms

freely is on

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

average 15% more than others who did not.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they greatly contribute to the success of the projects and

maintaining

Wrong verb form

maintain

show examples

a healthy relationship with other employees.

Hence

Linking Words

, Everyone, particularly young adults should choose the

job

Use synonyms

freely based on their interest and liking. In Conclusion,

People

Use synonyms

should be able to freely choose the

job

Use synonyms

that they like as

this

Linking Words

leads to a fulfilling and satisfying career and life. Everyone should be able to choose the

job

Use synonyms

and demand the pay for the

job

Use synonyms

that they do.

Wed Nov 06 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Consider providing a few more concrete examples and statistics to substantiate your claims. Adding diverse and specific examples can strengthen your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure each paragraph sticks to one main idea and explore it fully before moving on to the next. This can enhance the clarity of your ideas.

Introduction

The introduction effectively sets the stage by presenting both views and outlining the structure of the essay.

Conclusion

The conclusion clearly restates your opinion and summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

Logical Structure

The paragraphs are logically structured, and the essay has a coherent flow, making it easy for readers to follow your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

7.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

7.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

7.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

career trajectory
job satisfaction
employment prospects
financial stability
job security
economically viable
harnessing potential
labor market
vocational guidance
real-world demands

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In the future all cars,buses and trucks will be driverless.The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the diadvantages?
The comparison of driverless cars and manual cars is an important discussion in the majority of people. There is a common belief that redevelopment of the future is based on technology. However, will the pros of driverless cars will outweigh the drawbacks in the upcoming years? In this essay, I will discuss multiple reasons behind this subject and explain why the advantages of cars with no driver will outweigh the disadvantages.
7.5
band
Some people think that the amount of money spent on library is a waste as a new technologies are developing and replacing library functions. Do you agree or disagree?
Museums are ancient heritages since the population started organised. Many folks argue that investing money in bookstores is a waste of cash because the new digital era can provide library facilities. It completely disagrees, our ancestor’s system cannot be changed because it brings adults close to each other.
6
band
Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development
In modern life, many people think that bloggers, tubers and other well-known personalities throughout social media and TV are earning a lot of money even more than politicians because many young adults are interested in having fun and the advertising of many celebrities works by many communications websites.I believe that it is a positive development .
7
band
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A handful of people carry the opinion that having a fixed sentence for certain offences such as murder is the way to go. However, there are also others who opine, arguing that the nature of the offences committed should be taken into consideration as well. In this essay, I will delve into discussing both sides of this coin and provide my view.
5.5
band
some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals.others say that there are more important envirounmental problems. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a dilemma between people who think that the main threat to the environment is decreasing the particular species of plants and animals, however, others believe that there are more important threats to the environment.I believe that there are more important environmental problems.

Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Your opinion

In the future all cars,buses and trucks will be driverless.The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the diadvantages?

Some people think that the amount of money spent on library is a waste as a new technologies are developing and replacing library functions. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development

some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals.others say that there are more important envirounmental problems. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.