Should wealthy people be obliged to share their financial success with poor people by supporting health services and education, or is this the responsibility of the poor to improve their own standard of living? Give your opinion.

​In a modern society, income and equality is an issue that has plagued
civilisation
a society in an advanced state of social development (e.g., with complex legal and political and religious organizations)
civilization
since the beginning of time. Whereas, some societies strongly disagree with “every man for himself” others believe in helping their
neighbour
Suggestion
neighbours
. I opine that wealthy people should be obliged to share their wealth with poorer people.​ Wealth distribution for social ends
such
as
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
and education is seen as a basic societal right in all around the world and rich people should help to economically challenged people. Particularly, many people now are not finding jobs or
although
they are working, they are not having enough money to pay for his houses or
flats especially
Accept comma addition
flats, especially
in city-living which has a high cost of living now.
For example
, people living in Uzbekistan are working at low-income
salaries but
Accept comma addition
salaries, but
the cost of living is so
higher
Suggestion
high
in contrast
.
Therefore
, it is difficult for these people
to have
Suggestion
having
extra money for extra things. ​
On the other hand
, evidence from history shows that laying the responsibility with the poor to improve their lot is clearly an erroneous policy. In most humanitarian governmental bodies, scientific reports have proved countless times that the initiative must start with external assistance.
For instance
, an engineering study showed that when poverty-stricken individuals
where
have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)
were
motivated by more than just themselves
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
.e.
external
Suggestion
External
mentors, they had a success rate three times higher than self-motivated candidates.
Thus
, experts generally agree that the most effective humanitarian assistance involves helping one to help
themselves
objective case of they
them
. ​In conclusion, in my personal point of view, despite the argument above, it would be less likely to see any improvement in developing the national economy and status without the cooperation of wealthy people.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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