IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people claim that traditional games had more benefits for children than modern ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #games #children #ones
It is believed by some people that conventional games were more beneficial as
compare
Suggestion
compared
 to the games of today's time. I agree with
this
 idea that older games had great
improtnace
the quality of being important and worthy of note
importance
, but I believe that modern games are more significant. There are several reasons why I think that at the present time games are very crucial.
Firstly
, in these days there a number of games are available for everyone, they can play those games what they want, and these games are vital to enhance the cognitive skills of children.
For instance
, puzzle games assist the youngsters to grow mental ability. In
this
 way problems can be solved by them easily without any hurdle.
Secondly
, nowadays computer games are
also
 available
,
Accept space
,
 which makes children more creative, and can increase their imagination power. When kids play
such
 games, they may imagine stages of games in their real life, as a consequence, an effective way can be found by them to face a difficult situation.
Furthermore
, if children play traditional games they can be stay rooted with their culture, but children's mind growth can be stopped,
that is
 more important in the contemporary world.
Moreover
, by playing video games, it can be
learned how
Accept comma addition
learned, how
 to be safe on roads.
For instance
, while playing bike racing games young people use their mind to become safe from accident to pass the stages of games,
thus
 these ways can be applied by them in their lives on roads at the time of driving,
this
 can make them safe from
mishappenigs
 on the roads. To conclude, due to several advantages
,
Accept space
,
 in perspective the games of
this
 contemporary games are very important
s
the syllable naming the fifth (dominant) note of any musical scale in solmization
so
, so children should
such
 games rather than older games.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: