IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that the most important thing the rich can do with money is to help people. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #money
In the world there are mainly two discrimination among people
,
Accept space
,
they are rich and poor on the basis of
money
.
The wealthy
Suggestion
Wealthier
 people can do
alot
Suggestion
a lot
 to help people who do not have
eough
as much as necessary
enough
money
 to live.Charity has
vital role
Suggestion
a vital role
 to help people for rich people
,
Accept space
,
another important thing is to start
business
 to give employment for local people. Rich people are the people who have plethora of
money
,
Accept space
,
they spend it
,
Accept space
,
and
also
 can save it
,
Accept space
,
but other than
this
 they can help others with their kindness.In the world most people suggest charity is the best way to do something for people who need financial help.For
this
 purpose there are
alot
Suggestion
a lot
 of organizations and individuals.
hence
(used to introduce a logical conclusion) from that fact or reason or as a result
Hence
 rich people can donate their
money
 for helping somebody who
are
Suggestion
is
familier
well known or easily recognized
familiar
 to them or unknown to them.
For instance
 wealthiest people can spend their
money
 for education of poor
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
,
Accept space
,
welfare of
old
Suggestion
older
 people
,
Accept space
,
medical help to patients.
On the other hand
, every people not ready to accept charity, they have a mind to work, for
thelping
an individual quantity of food or drink taken as part of a meal
helping
t helping
taping
 those
type
Suggestion
types
 of people rich can do some
business
.The
business
 can give
opputunities
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
 to
alot
Suggestion
a lot
 of people who are ready to work.Giving employment will help a lot of people to save their family from financial problems.
For
example if
Accept comma addition
example, if
 a rich man
start
Suggestion
starts
 a local
business
 to consume
cocunut
the edible white meat of a coconut; often shredded for use in e.g. cakes and curries
coconut
 in
kerala
Suggestion
Kerala
 will help a lot of people to get
job
Suggestion
jobs
.
in
Suggestion
In
 conclusion
,
Accept space
,
in my opinion rich people can do
alot
Suggestion
a lot
 of things to poor to step forward financially
,
Accept space
,
the main thing is to help them
by
Suggestion
with
 charity.Another important one is to start an
enturpenurship
 to
give a way
Suggestion
give away
giveaway
 to people who suffer more.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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