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Band 5

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #teenagers #dangers #crime
It is true that failure is simply the opportunity
to begin
,
this
 time more intelligently.
In other words
, lots of prisoners could be nice persons after their punishments. It is argued by some people that the lives of these nice persons could be the best lessons for teenagers if they hear from prisoners by their own. I completely agree that if they talk about crimes and their consequences that will be the most efficient way to raise their awareness. There are several reasons why
this
 strategy is attractive.
Firstly
, if teenagers talk directly with ex -prisoners, they are more likely to be convinced about the consequences of committing crimes.
Secondly
, communicating with these persons, who have criminal records, is quite exciting for teenagers and they can ask their questions interactively and without any intermediary.
besides
Suggestion
Besides
, reformed offenders can tell about their experiences in prisons and potential dangers that threaten their lives again. Apart from the profound impact of ex-prisoners’ talks on the youth, it
is
Suggestion
was
 completely beneficial to boosting their
ago
how long something has existed
age
ego
 and help them to feel useful in society. They need
this
 opportunity to start again and find themselves
to begin
 their new life.
In addition
, more they feel they are respectful and people trust them,
less
Suggestion
the less
 there is the probability of recommitting crime. Anyway, in my
opinion it
Accept comma addition
opinion, it
 is a win-win solution and we can use
this
 potential to raise the awareness of older people to have a society which is more secure. To
some
a quantity of money
sum
 up, I fully support the view that ex-prisoners can play a significant role in guiding older people and helping to have a better society.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
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