Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others,however,believe that boys and girls benefit more attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

CERTAIN PEOPLE ARE OF THE OPINION THAT IT IS PREFERABLE TO TEACH BOYS AND GIRLS IN DIFFERENT INSTITUTIONS.
WHILE
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
SOME THINK THAT
BOTH
GENDERS PROFIT FROM GOING TO THE SAME SCHOOL. THE ESSAY WILL DISCUSS
BOTH
VIEWS AND GIVE MY OPINION WHICH STATES THAT MIXED
SCHOOLS
ARE BETTER BECAUSE
IT
Correct pronoun usage
THEY
show examples
PREPARES
Correct subject-verb agreement
PREPARE
show examples
THE KID FOR A SIMILAR ADULT LIFE. TO START WITH, SOME INDIVIDUALS BELIEVE THAT IT IS BETTER TO EDUCATE MALE AND FEMALE CHILDREN IN SEPARATE
SCHOOLS
. YET
OTHERS
, OPINE THAT
BOTH
GENDERS BENEFIT MORE FROM STUDYING IN THE SAME ACADEMY. IT IS SAID THAT
SINGLE SEXED
Add a hyphen
SINGLE-SEXED
show examples
SCHOOLS
IMPROVE AND PROMOTE A MORE RELAXED ENVIRONMENT. IN THE SENSE THAT
CHIDREN
Correct your spelling
CHILDREN
ARE AT A STAGE OF SELF-DISCOVERY OR IN SOME CASES PUBERTY, WHEN THEY ARE WITH
OTHERS
OF SIMILAR PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES THEY CAN LEARN ABOUT THE CHANGES FROM THEIR PEERS AND EMBRACE IT EXPEDITIOUSLY. IT CAN BE OBSERVED THAT THE
AFFOREMENTIONED
Correct your spelling
AFOREMENTIONED
INCREASES THEIR
SELF CONFIDENCE
Add a hyphen
SELF-CONFIDENCE
show examples
. TO ILLUSTRATE, DURING A RESEARCH, A GROUP OF PRE PUBESCENT GIRLS ONCE SAID THAT THEY USED TO HEAR ABOUT MENSTRUATION
ALOT
Correct your spelling
A LOT
FROM THEIR TUTORS BUT THEY NEVER FULLY KNEW THE IMPLICATION, TILL THEY SAW THEIR FRIENDS GO THROUGH IT. ON THE BASIS OF THAT, A NUMBER OF PEOPLE THINK THAT IT IS BEST TO TUTOR MALE AND FEMALE CHILDREN APART.
CONVERSELY
, SOME PERSONS ARE OF THE VIEWPOINT THAT IT IS FAVOURABLE TO EDUCATE THE BOY AND A GIRL CHILD APART, IN SPITE OF THAT,
OTHERS
ARE OF THE THOUGHT THAT IT IS MORE
BENEFITIAL
Correct your spelling
BENEFICIAL
FOR THE MALE AND FEMALE CHILD TO ATTEND SAME-SEX
SCHOOLS
. ADMITTEDLY, SINGLE SEXED SCHOOL IS UNNECESSARY AND VERY UNHEALTHY IN TERMS OF
CHILDRENS
Change to a genitive case
CHILDREN'S
show examples
SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT. AN INFANT ONLY SOCIALIZES WITH PEOPLE OF THE SAME GENDER AND HAS LITTLE OR NO EXPERIENCE WITH THE OTHER GENDER. ALTERNATIVELY, IT IS INTERESTING TO NOTE THAT MIXED
SCHOOLS
PORTRAY A BASIC REPRESENTATION OF REAL LIFE
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
BECAUSE IT PROVIDES ONE WITH A BETTER PICTURE OF THE
DAY TO DAY
Add a hyphen
DAY-TO-DAY
show examples
HAPPENINGS IN
THE
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
SOCIETY, WHERE
MALE
Fix the agreement mistake
MALES
show examples
AND
FEMALE
Fix the agreement mistake
FEMALES
show examples
INTERACT AND CO-EXIST EFFICIENTLY. ON TOP OF THAT, EQUIPPING THEM WITH UTMOST SOCIAL SKILLS. ONE
PARTICUALARLY
Correct your spelling
PARTICULARLY
GOOD ILLUSTRATION, WAS A SURVEY CARRIED OUT IN BRITAIN
1980
Change preposition
IN 1980
show examples
SHOWED THAT 90% OF THE CHILDREN THAT WENT TO MIXED
SCHOOLS
HAD A HEALTHY SOCIAL LIFE AND ONLY 15% OF THOSE THAT WENT TO SINGLE SEXED
SCHOOLHOUSE
Fix the agreement mistake
SCHOOLHOUSES
show examples
COUD
Correct your spelling
COULD
BOAST OF THE SAME. FOR THE INDICATED REASON, I AM OF THE VIEW THAT MIXED
SCHOOLS
ARE VERY ESSENTIAL.
TO CONCLUDE
, DESPITE THE FACT THAT SOME
ARE OF
Verb problem
apply
show examples
THE
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
BELIEVE THAT IT IS FAVOURABLE TO TUTOR BOYS AND GIRLS IN SEPARATE INSTITUTES FOR THE REASON THAT IT PROMOTES
PHYSICAL-SELF
Correct your spelling
PHYSICAL
show examples
LEARNING.
OTHERS
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
ARE OF THE PERSPECTIVE THAT DIFFERENT GENDERS WOULD BENEFIT FROM
SAME
Correct article usage
THE SAME
show examples
SCHOOL. THE ESSAY HAS DISCUSSED
BOTH
AREAS AND PROFFERED MY OPINION.
Submitted by manuellaejiofor on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks clear paragraph structure, and your arguments lack coherence. You need to work on your organization to better present your ideas.
Grammatical Range
Your essay contains multiple grammatical errors and lacks variety in sentence structures. It is important to focus on improving your grammatical range and accuracy.
Task Response
You addressed the task, but your arguments lack depth and specific examples. Your essay needs to provide more comprehensive and supported ideas to fully respond to the task question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: