IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie graphs illustrate the proportions of outgoings in two different cities,
Japan
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
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, in the year 2010, namely, housing, transport, food, health care, and
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
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 goods and services.
Overall
Linking Words
, the major proportion of expenditures was other goods and services in
Japan
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the main outgoing was housing in
Malaysia
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.
However
Linking Words
, the lowest percentages were health care spending in both countries. It can be seen that the greatest amount of housing expenditures in
Malaysia
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 was lower than in
Japan
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 with 34% and 21% respectively as the percentages of health care outgoing in
Malaysia
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 were twice less than Japanese’s with 6% and 3%.
In addition
Linking Words
 in
Use synonyms
Japan
Add a comma
,Japan
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 the transport expense (20%) was twice that of
Malaysia
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(10%)
In contrast
Linking Words
. Food expense in
Japan
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(24%) was 3% lower than in
Malaysia
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(27%). Yet, compared with other goods and services in
Japan
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 at 29%, their
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
was
Change the verb form
were
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 3% higher than
Malaysia
Use synonyms
’s at 26%.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, malaysia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
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