Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sense #competition #children #co-operate #adults

Nowadays, the society is experiencing different ways to educate children. A part of the public

think

Suggestion

thinks

that is

better to encourage students, starting from childhood, competing between them in order to

encourage them express

Suggestion

encourage them to express

their own potentials.

By contrast

, another part of society

promoute

Suggestion

Promote

Promoted

Promoute

to educate

children co

Accept comma addition

children, co

-operating, so they will be able to work in groups. I personally agree in some parts with

either

not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied

other

parts and in

this

essay I am gonna write how and about either side. On one hand, the competition is undoubtedly one of the best methods to make students overcame their limits.

On the other hand

, I

think is

Accept comma addition

think, is

not correct to use the competition pattern

Suggestion

for

children, but only with more mature students

such

as those attending high school. Why is not a good educational method for them? Because children could

became

Suggestion

become

depressed it

Accept comma addition

depressed, it

depressed if

they cannot win, starting to think they will never win. For

this

reason

this

method may result in the

opposit

being directly across from each other; facing

opposite

aim.

children

Suggestion

Children

competiot

properly or sufficiently qualified or capable or efficient

competent

not good but good in youth,

encorauged

inspired with confidence

encouraged

to do better to

overcame

Suggestion

overcome

their limits, prices, value, deserve

Maked

Suggestion

Make

this

point,

probrably

with considerable certainty; without much doubt

probably

the best way to educate children is to make them collaborate so they understand the importance of sharing,

for example

games, and they

also

learn that working together is a

streght

occupy a large, elongated area

stretch

For instance

, I have a little cousin that

everytime

Suggestion

every time

that we

met she

Accept comma addition

met, she

told me about her schoolmates, especially that she enjoys to create

castels

a large and stately mansion

castles

casualties

with them and drawing. She

has learn

Suggestion

has learned

has learnt

a lot from primary school, indeed at

first

she was really stubborn and did not want to go to school with other children, but

then

she

realise

Suggestion

realises

that she is happy to co-operate and to share her experience with others. In conclusion,

although

competition is a really good way to learn how to express ourselves, in my

opinion

Accept comma addition

opinion, this

this

is not the right pattern of education for children,

wheras

In or at or to what place

where

whereas

the co-operation within

mates

a thick flat pad used as a floor covering

mats

for children could be the best, making them understand the important values of working in

group

Suggestion

a group

groups

, trust and love between each other.

Submitted by martinacurcuruto on Tue Nov 12 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

341 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

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Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of articulate species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Recent research has confirmed that ‘human activity has become the greatest threat to plant and animal life. Why do you think this has happened? How can we reduce our impact on the natural world?

Children who are brought up in families that do not have large amounts of money are better prepared to deal with the problems of adult life than children brought up by wealthy parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?