Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, the society is experiencing different ways to educate children. A part of the public
think
Suggestion
thinks
that is
Linking Words
better to encourage students, starting from childhood, competing between them in order to
encourage them express
Suggestion
encourage them to express
their own potentials.
By contrast
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, another part of society
promoute
Suggestion
Promote
Promoted
Promoute
to educate
children co
Accept comma addition
children, co
-operating, so they will be able to work in groups. I personally agree in some parts with
either
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
parts and in
this
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essay I am gonna write how and about either side. On one hand, the competition is undoubtedly one of the best methods to make students overcame their limits.
On the other hand
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, I
think is
Accept comma addition
think, is
not correct to use the competition pattern
to
Suggestion
for
children, but only with more mature students
such
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as those attending high school. Why is not a good educational method for them? Because children could
became
Suggestion
become
depressed it
Accept comma addition
depressed, it
depressed if
they cannot win, starting to think they will never win. For
this
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reason
this
Linking Words
method may result in the
opposit
being directly across from each other; facing
opposite
aim.
children
Suggestion
Children
-
competiot
properly or sufficiently qualified or capable or efficient
competent
not good but good in youth,
encorauged
inspired with confidence
encouraged
to do better to
overcame
Suggestion
overcome
their limits, prices, value, deserve
Maked
Suggestion
Make
this
Linking Words
point,
probrably
with considerable certainty; without much doubt
probably
the best way to educate children is to make them collaborate so they understand the importance of sharing,
for example
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games, and they
also
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learn that working together is a
streght
occupy a large, elongated area
stretch
.
For instance
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, I have a little cousin that
everytime
Suggestion
every time
that we
met she
Accept comma addition
met, she
told me about her schoolmates, especially that she enjoys to create
castels
a large and stately mansion
castles
casualties
with them and drawing. She
has learn
Suggestion
has learned
has learnt
a lot from primary school, indeed at
first
Linking Words
she was really stubborn and did not want to go to school with other children, but
then
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she
realise
Suggestion
realises
that she is happy to co-operate and to share her experience with others. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
competition is a really good way to learn how to express ourselves, in my
opinion
Accept comma addition
opinion, this
this
Linking Words
is not the right pattern of education for children,
wheras
In or at or to what place
where
whereas
the co-operation within
mates
a thick flat pad used as a floor covering
mats
for children could be the best, making them understand the important values of working in
group
Suggestion
a group
groups
, trust and love between each other.
Submitted by martinacurcuruto on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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