IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Watching television is bad for children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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Technology advancement has changed the way people live, and one of the examples is the invention of
television
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. Since the invention of
television
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, it has been massively used to access information
such
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 as updated news and entertainment materials. It is believed that
television
Use synonyms
 has brought detrimental effect to children. In my opinion, I strongly believe that some contents provided
in
Suggestion
on
with
television
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 can negatively impact children’s action and
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
.
Television
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 can have negative influences
in
Suggestion
on
 children’s development for a few underlying reasons.
First
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, many of
television
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 contents
such
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 as crime or gossip shows are not suitable for children, especially underage children. Not only does
television
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 expose children to low-quality
television
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 show, but children will
also
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 end up wasting their time watching limited educational materials.
Second
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, it is undeniable that some advertisements that are
showed
Suggestion
shown
in
Suggestion
on
television
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 are not appropriate for children. To illustrate, aiming to gain big revenue, tobacco advertisements usually convey the impression that people who smoke are cool. More often than not, children can be easily misled, which may result in them taking up smoking.
Third
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, watching
television
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 can be extremely addictive for children. In
this
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 case, they will lack the motivation to perform other productive activities due to the compulsive desire to remain seated in front of
TV set
Suggestion
the TV set
a TV set
.
Thus
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, their holistic development will be hampered. To sum up, having considered the above arguments, I would
therefore
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 argue that
television
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 will bring negative effects to
children
Suggestion
children's
child's
 character and action. My argument is based on the lower quality of the contents, limited educational materials and unsuitable advertisement that are offered in televisions. Children can engage in more productive activities
such
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 as exercising and crafting if they refrain from watching
television
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.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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