The table below gives information about students enrolments at Bristol University in 1928, 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where revelant.

The table below gives information about students enrolments at Bristol University in 1928, 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where revelant.
The table shows information about pupils
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
applied at Bristol University, depending on
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
. The first result is a surge of students enrolled: the number of them climbed slightly from 1928 to 1958,
while
in the
next
period was
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sharply
Change the word
sharp
show examples
and to peak in
last
year with 6377 new
freshman
Change to a plural noun
freshmen
show examples
. The percentage of females dropped in the first sector,
whereas
we can see how there was a rapid increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
it in 2008.
Although
, it didn't happen the same for the males, in
fact
Add the comma(s)
,fact
show examples
their percentage point grew from 58% to 68% and
then
, they collapsed to 46% in 2008. Another task is the proportion
between
Change preposition
of
show examples
pupils
came
Correct pronoun usage
who came
show examples
from close
Bristol
Change preposition
to Bristol
show examples
and those from overseas. The first ones plummeted each year, as long as there were fewer points in 2008, unlike the
second
ones soared and
also
the number of countries, whence they came from, rocked from 3 to 98.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: