Nowadays shops have extended opening hours almost every day of the week in many countries. Is it a positive or negative development for shoppers and local community?

Shopping is one of the most significant activities for people, especially during leisure time for relaxation.
Therefore
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, these days, markets are
opening
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open
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from
sunshine
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sunrise
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to
sunsets
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sunset
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and whole seven days
in
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of
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a
Correct article usage
the
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week. I think
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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it brings
a
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apply
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plenty of positive development for the owners,
staffs
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staff
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, buyers and
the
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apply
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society. To commence with, there are various supermarkets that can open about 24
hours
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
a
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weeks
Fix the agreement mistake
week
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in different countries for several purposes.
Firstly
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, in
this
Linking Words
modern era, citizens are busy
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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they have to work
according to
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their duty schedules.
For instance
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, in the nursing profession,
nurse's
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nurses
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work approximately 24
hours
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a day
Punctuation problem
, as
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as
Correct word choice
and
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work routines
also
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changed
Wrong verb form
change
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every week.
Hence
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, when shops have extended opening
hours
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, they can easily do shopping
any
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at any
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pace of the
weeks
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week
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.
Furthermore
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, when stores run a longer duration, employees will
be benefited
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benefit
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because a number of
persons
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people
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might get employment opportunities.
In addition
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, owners of the department can earn an ample
of
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amount of
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money
,
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apply
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when their business
raises
Verb problem
grows
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effectively.
Then
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,
this
Linking Words
money circulates gradually within the country.
Moreover
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, if individual income is growing, they need to pay taxes to the government. So, taxes become the main
sources
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source
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of development of the nation. Apart from that,
24
Correct your spelling
24-hour
hours
Use synonyms
opening markets provide
a
Correct article usage
apply
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security to local people, especially walkers who will arrive home late
due to
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their office located far away from the house. In conclusion, the way of
the enlarging
Correct word order
enlarging the
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second
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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markets
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market
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run
Verb problem
apply
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assists
public
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the public
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to get jobs and security
while
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walking.
Therefore
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, it is directly related to the advancement of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.

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task
The answer is clear on some good points, but it misses the view of a possible bad side. Add a short line in the intro to show your view and add at least one point that shows a negative side or a limit.
coherence
The writing uses many linking words, but some sentences are long and hard. Make one idea per paragraph and start each with a clear topic point. Use simple, short sentences.
advantage
The writer shows many groups can gain from longer hours.
structure
There is some linking of ideas with words like 'Furthermore' and 'Hence'.
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