IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

some organizations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.

#organizations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
This
 essay is regarding the different organisation, which want
there
of them or themselves
their
 employees to wear smart formal clothes while some of them are interested only in the
work
 of
there
of them or themselves
their
 workers. It is seen that few offices force
there
of them or themselves
their
 employees to wear formal
cloths
clothing in general
clothes
 which they actually made
compulsary
required by rule
compulsory
. But in some organisation,
it
it is
it's
 only important that
worker
Suggestion
the worker
a worker
workers
 should come to
work
 on time and complete his
work
 in
given period
Suggestion
a given period
 of time. Some organisations
feels
Suggestion
feel
 that importance of wearing formal
cloths
clothing in general
clothes
 is related to your personality. And it
is been proved
Suggestion
proved
is proven
has proven
proves
was proven
 that, when you
work
 with smart looking people and in
good atmosphere
Suggestion
a good atmosphere
, you try to
strech
occupy a large, elongated area
stretch
 your ability
of
Suggestion
to
work
 and push yourself to achieve big goals. But some organisations think in
opposite way
Suggestion
the opposite way
opposite ways
an opposite way
. They are simply interested in your
work
 because they believe that cloths and your appearance do not matter if your
work
 is neat and tidy. There believe is that, when all the employees
work
 together without thinking of any other thing
then
Suggestion
is then worked
is then working
work
, will produce great output
then
 others. I know a lady in my office wore a traditional saree
instead
 of wearing formal
cloths
clothing in general
clothes
. Her salary, of half day was cut and she was scolded by a manager because of
this
. It degrades
moral
Suggestion
the moral
 of
a
Suggestion
an
 employee when it comes to
wearing
(law) a proceeding (usually by a court) where evidence is taken for the purpose of determining an issue of fact and reaching a decision based on that evidence
hearing
 what others tell you to wear. He or she cannot perform up to the mark. In my opinion, wearing formal
cloths
clothing in general
clothes
 is not important. But one should be neat, tidy and clean. Wearing smart cloths do not play vital role
wen
at what time? "When are you coming home?"
when
 you have to
work
 with
bunch
Suggestion
a bunch
 of people
who’s
of which person?
whose
 aim is to complete
work
 and not look smart.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: