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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Studies show that many criminals have a low level of education. For this reason, people believe that the best way to reduce crime is to educate people in prison so they can get a job when leave prison. Do you agree or disagree?

#studies #show #criminals #level #education #reason #people #crime #prison #job
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Recently, crime has been increasing out of control. Some hold the idea that in order to deter crimes, criminals should be given proper
education
Use synonyms
 while in prison. Personally, I partly share the same view with
this
Linking Words
. It is my belief that nurture, not nature, is responsible for malignant and antisocial behaviours.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, everybody is born with good personalities and what turns some into criminals is parental neglect and lack of
education
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. Many studies have shown that children who are not supervised by their parents on a regular basis are many times more likely to go off the rails, commit acts of selfishness or to behave aggressively against others.
This
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 rationalizes why I think a good number of prisoners after being released will not repeat their offences if they are given
Use synonyms
education
Suggestion
an education
.
In addition
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, while being in jail, inmates have plenty of
time
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 which can be misspent.
For example
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, some of them spend their
time
Use synonyms
 on gambling with their
cellmates
an acquaintance that you go to school with
classmates
 or accessing materials with objectionable contents.
Thus
Linking Words
, giving them the opportunity to be educated translates to the reduction of
Use synonyms
time which
Accept comma addition
time, which
 can be potentially frittered away or used for malicious purposes.
Nevertheless
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, there are objections to
this
Linking Words
 perspective. Those who oppose claim that the potential program of giving
education
Use synonyms
 to criminals can cost a huge amount of money from the Government budget.
However
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, considering the
result it
Accept comma addition
result, it
 can deliver in the long run as far as societal stability is concerned,
this
Linking Words
 program is not a waste of taxpayers’ money. What has been discussed above has effectively corroborated my view that
education
Use synonyms
 can reduce participation in criminal activities and inmates should receive
education
Use synonyms
 while serving
time
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by b1501519 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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