Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

today’s

Suggestion

today’s music world,

world

music

has aroused people’s discussion everywhere. It is sometimes argued that

music

has the potential of gathering people cross-culturally even if they are from different ages. I completely agree with

this

statement and

this

essay will clear it. There are many reasons that I consist

music

one

of the best ways for building strong relationship between different people.

Firstly

, it is

one

of the most popular hobbies in all around the

world

, so there are uncountable clubs, bands and groups which people could gather and have fun together.

Secondly

music

can create

spiritual connection

Suggestion

a spiritual connection

between folks. What happen in sport events is a good example of it, as most of the team has their own cheering and when it plays, almost all of the fans will

song

in the near future

soon

it regardless of their age or nationality.

Finally

music

Suggestion

the music

creates an opportunity for folks to share their positive emotions.

For instance

, every year in carnivals around the

world many

Accept comma addition

world, many

people wine

Accept comma addition

people, wine

, dine, and dance with each other, no matter how old are they or where are they from.

Moreover

, there are many evidence based

researches

Suggestion

research

which indicate that

music

can be used as a therapeutic approach foe

vide

having great (or a certain) extent from one side to the other

wide

variety of disorders or mental struggles.

For example

, it is reported that a couple

session

Suggestion

sessions

music

therapy, could be helpful for treating anxiety in none sociable peoples and connecting these peoples with their peers. Beside all these

discussion

Suggestion

discussions

, there is a general fact about the art which claim that art is the mutual language of all people, as

music

one

of the different forms of arts,

consequently

it could have the essential power for bringing people together. In conclusion, it is especially important at

this

time which

Accept comma addition

time, which

world

appears to be more divided than every time, finding a way to build a cross-cultural relationship between people. I do believe that

music

could definitely be

one

this

way regarding its potentials.

Submitted by pegah.seidi1 on Sun Nov 17 2019

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

322 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people feel that entertainers (e.g., film stars, pop musicians or sport stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? which other types of job should be highly paid?

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Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. others argue that this money should be spent for sports facilities for ordinary people.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Aircraft's have been increasingly used to transport fruits and vegetables to some countries, where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good trend, but some people oppose it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.