Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour

It is a fact that Television and Computer games has been used by every generation in all over the world. These days,

Violence

is increasing in a

media

Suggestion

medium

. As most of them use television and computer games on a daily basis, Some people may claim that

violence

occurred on

or video games does not impact

thinking

Suggestion

the thinking

of society.

In contrast

, some people argue that

violence

Suggestion

the violence

shown on media are not safe for every human being. In my opinion, I believe that the excess of anything concerning

media

Suggestion

the media

is dangerous for all species. Nowadays,

violence

Suggestion

media

Suggestion

the media

has increased a

lot which

Accept comma addition

lot, which

could affect the person who watches a

Suggestion

excessive way.

Suggestion

somebody is

angry

Accept comma addition

angry, then

then

he could copy the ideas from the watched contents of

to complete their destructive motives and aims.

For Example

, I have seen some teenagers who

organises

Suggestion

organise

the fight club in order to release their anger through fights.

This

generally resembles many movies who

portrays

Suggestion

portray

the context of the fight clubs.

Moreover

, Video games are commonly played among teenagers as

Internet

Suggestion

the Internet

has increased

worldwidely

over a period of time. They might think that it is normal to express

angriness

towards

other

any of various alternatives; some other

another

person.

For instance

, many games show weapons which might provoke teenagers to use them. Taking everything

Suggestion

into

consideration, I think that

violence

and video games affects users' overall intellectual and social health. The contents of

and video games should be controlled to avoid future consequences for

betterment

Suggestion

the betterment

of generation.

Tue Nov 19 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

When ask to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In companies promotions to high positions should be given to employees inside the company , not to someone from outsiders or new hiring. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the main purpose of schools is turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?