Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

It is a fact that Television and Computer games has been used by every generation in all over the world. These days,
Violence
is increasing in a
media
Suggestion
medium
. As most of them use television and computer games on a daily basis, Some people may claim that
violence
occurred on
TV
or video games does not impact
thinking
Suggestion
the thinking
of society.
In contrast
, some people argue that
violence
Suggestion
the violence
shown on media are not safe for every human being. In my opinion, I believe that the excess of anything concerning
media
Suggestion
the media
is dangerous for all species. Nowadays,
violence
on
Suggestion
in
media
Suggestion
the media
has increased a
lot which
Accept comma addition
lot, which
could affect the person who watches a
TV
in
a
Suggestion
an
excessive way.
if
Suggestion
If
somebody is
angry
Accept comma addition
angry, then
then
he could copy the ideas from the watched contents of
TV
to complete their destructive motives and aims.
For Example
, I have seen some teenagers who
organises
Suggestion
organise
the fight club in order to release their anger through fights.
This
generally resembles many movies who
portrays
Suggestion
portray
the context of the fight clubs.
Moreover
, Video games are commonly played among teenagers as
Internet
Suggestion
the Internet
has increased
worldwidely
over a period of time. They might think that it is normal to express
angriness
towards
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
person.
For instance
, many games show weapons which might provoke teenagers to use them. Taking everything
in
Suggestion
into
consideration, I think that
violence
on
TV
and video games affects users' overall intellectual and social health. The contents of
TV
and video games should be controlled to avoid future consequences for
betterment
Suggestion
the betterment
of generation.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
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