IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #children #age #outweigh
More families considered to have children in their mature years compared to the previous years. Having a
child
 in the later age is considered to be simpler, due to the fact that families will have a certain amount of money.
Furthermore
, children are more likely to have a better
attention
 and influence from parents.
However
, give birth to children may be difficult for
mother
Suggestion
the mother
 and it may affect children. It is easier to support a family when it has a certain amount of money. It is
therefore
 reasonable that having a
child
 in mature years gives
to
Suggestion
until
 he/she a better opportunity to live in abundance.
Accordingly
, children will have a better childhood and conditions to develop and
growth
Suggestion
grow
. A young one may have a better opportunity to have more
attention
 from parents when they are living in later age. Parents might be freer with a steady income,
therefore may
Accept comma addition
therefore, may
 take more
attention
 to their children and attempting to raise significant personalities.
Moreover
, certain women may feel the appearance of maternal instinct in
the late
Suggestion
later
 years.
However
, bear children in 35 or above may be difficult and it is definitely
effect
Suggestion
effecting
effected
 to the health of children. After 30 the body of person will start the process of getting old,
consequently
 both mother and
child
 health will hurt. There are frequent cases when
child
Suggestion
the child
a child
 was born from mother, who were above 35,
then
 it leads to the health problems or physical disability.
(
Accept space
(
prove
Suggestion
Prove
 it by scientific evidence) In summary, the advantages of having children in mature years outweigh the disadvantages,
that is
 a better life and receiving more
attention
 may outweigh the risks of getting a disease both parents and children.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • delaying parenthood
  • financial stability
  • career advancement
  • personal goals
  • higher education
  • fertility treatments
  • relationship stability
  • health care improvements
  • personal development
  • postponing children
  • achieve milestones
  • family planning
  • modern society
  • life expectancy
  • paternal and maternal age
What to do next:
Look at other essays: