Some says that music, art and drama are important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued by many that subjects,
such
as
art
, music, and drama, ought to be taught during primary education, with the same importance as other subjects.
This
essay agreed that
art
related subjects are important to be taught at schools.
This
essay will discuss
firstly
, the increase in performance of students due to extracurricular activities,
secondly
, success it brings to students in
future
Suggestion
the future
, and
finally
will state a reasoned conclusion. Extra curricular activities
helps
Suggestion
help
refreshing
minds
Suggestion
the minds
of students, which makes going to
schools
Suggestion
school
more interesting for them.
Therefore
, they become more confident and perform better in other subjects,
such
as science and mathematics.
For example
, a recent survey, for the academic year 2018 and 2019, conducted by government schools of Delhi revealed that 99% of children with
art
as additional subject have higher grades than other students.
Besides
improved performance in other subjects, students participating in extracurricular activities are likely to be more successful in their future.
In other words
,
extracurriculars
Suggestion
Extracurriculars
extracurricular
helps children explore their talents at
young age
Suggestion
a young age
, and provides them with an opportunity to brighten their god gifted skills.
For instance
, Khuda Baksh is 15 years old, and is the top
third
famous singer of Indian music industry. He said in an interview by some news channel that he found his singing talent, when
first time
Suggestion
the first time
he participated in his school’s singing competition. To conclude,
art
subjects should be valued equally as other subjects because
this
encourages students to perform well in studies, and take them one step closer towards success.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enhance
  • creativity
  • self-expression
  • balanced education
  • cognitive skills
  • academic performance
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • emotional intelligence
  • empathy
  • cultural expression
  • appreciation
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
What to do next:
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