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Writing Samples
Band 4

In many developing countries, there is an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into the cities. why do you think this happens? What problems can this cause?

#countries #movement #workers #areas #cities
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Urbanisation and mass immigration of workers from their
village
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 to a metropolitan cities are in increasing trend, in many countries like India. The reason behind the process would be
increase
Suggestion
an increase
 in demand of quality of
life
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,
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 may lead to some complications
such
Linking Words
 as, Overpopulated cities, increase in pollution and elevated competition for jobs. On looking into the
etiology
the cause of a disease
aetiology
ideology
archaeology
 of people migrating from remote area reminds many. Particularly, seeking for the better standard of
life
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 is the cause; good medium for education, highly facilitated hospitals, well paid job and comfortable
life
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.
For example
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, according to a recent survey by
Indian government
Suggestion
the Indian government
, in which it is stated the reason for shifting from the rural area, is for a higher education and a decent job. Nowadays, people are wedded with
comfortable
Suggestion
a comfortable lifestyle
comfortable lifestyle
life
Use synonyms
 style, where they are not willing
to do
Suggestion
doing
 a work like agriculture, which requires physical work. So they search for a job which only demand for mental work, which is difficult to find in a
village
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. On analysing the possible problems it can cause, would be high population in the urban areas. If people move from their native to cities increases, that may lead to the increase in vehicles on roads in cities.
Such
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 situation will result in
climatic crisis
Suggestion
a climatic crisis
 in that
cities
Suggestion
city
.
Moreover
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,
such
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 condition may lead to escalation of unemployment, due to the competition for limited available jobs. Not only cities, but
also
Linking Words
 the
village
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 will suffer the consequence. If everyone
go
Suggestion
goes
 out of a
village
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, there won't be anyone to do agriculture.
Then
Linking Words
 there will be less food production. To recapitulate, people expectation for a better living is the principle cause for the relocation and
this
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 will result into a massive destruction of both the rural urban
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by sarathsasi4592 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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