IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
Both quality and appearance are some of the most fundamental things that are needed to
work
 in a
company
. Some say that the way the employees dress is necessary. While others think performance at
work
 is more important than any other qualifications. In
this
 case, I agree with both points. Either appearance or quality is both significant and no one can stand without another. To illustrate
this
, I will explain and give some examples in the
next
 paragraph.
First
 of all, I agree that we
can not
can not
cannot
 judge someone based on their looks.
However
, it is different at
work
, everyone should dress up nicely. Employees do not need to wear expensive clothes to look smart. When workers meet clients or attend a formal event, the
first
 thing that a
company
 looks at is their images.
For instance
, if you wear a tank top and shorts at a formal meeting, your co-workers will assume that you are not serious.
On the contrary
, performance is
also
 compulsory. You could never survive
at
Suggestion
as
in
 an organization if you do not meet their requirements. Every corporation needs someone eligible and has a lot of experience in their jobs.
For example
, there is a worker
that is
 bad at doing his job. The
company
 thinks that it is useless to employ and will probably fire him. In conclusion, either looks or performance is important. Without dress up smartly, it would make you
perceived
Suggestion
perceive
 inferior by the others. By working with high achievement, the
company
 will be satisfied and could raise your salary. But in the end, it depends on every person as long as they feel enjoy
to do
Suggestion
doing
 their
work
.
Submitted by dewi_sekar_farrasyifa on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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