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Writing Samples
Band 5

in some countries children under 16 are not allowed to leave school by law and get full time work. is this a good or bad thing?

#countries #children #school #law #time #work
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Nowadays, in certain countries have laws from leaving school before attaining certain age of 16 as well as to enter into the workforce. In my opinion,
this
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 is a positive development of the
country
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, because children are the building block of development of a
country
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.
Firstly
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, the young ones who get into full time
work
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 before the age of 16 will reduce the concentration on their studies. Because, the students got high pressure from the
work
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.
For instance
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, a recent study conducted by the Ministry of
education
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 in Nigeria found that young ones involved in full time
work
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 do not excel in their academics when offered the opportunity to attend evening classes due to the demand and stress from
work
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.
Secondly
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, some employers cheat the children due to their lack of knowledge in understanding the contract.
Also
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, some of them gave enough amount of money and worked them for long hours.
Thus
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, in many countries child labour is a serious criminal offence.
Furthermore
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, for a developing
country
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education
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 plays an important part.
Thus
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 to keep the literacy rate higher these types of legislation must be essential.
Therefore
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, the
country
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's development is proportional to
education
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. In conclusion, I believe that high school
education
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 is important for every student life. So every individual to give more attention to study than a job at the age under 16s. After completing the graduation, the teenagers must think about their full time job.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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