IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #technology
It is argued by many that modern
technology
 plays and integral role in people's lives and make more connected with each other. While, others believe that
technology
Suggestion
technologically
 distracted people from society.I firmly believed, new tool revolutionized our life in terms of communication with others. On the one hand, highly
use
 of different application restricted the life of
individual
Suggestion
an individual
individuals
the individual
 to a single room. People badly indulged themselves in computer, internet, and video games.
As a result
, they do not favour to meet with people and even denied to spend some quality time with parents.
For instance
, in Pakistan the average time of using various
type
Suggestion
types
 of technologies is over 12 hours.
Thus
, they ruin the relationships by excessive
use
 of
technology
.
On the other hand
,
technology
 bears more benefits regarding effective communication Amid unknown people. The new tools
such
 as Facebook, Skype, and others make people more socialize by frequent interactions.
For example
, in my country, people
use
 Skype to interact with relatives, who lived abroad. In my opinion, modern technological tools encourage individuals to build relationships. By using social media they make friends from around the globe. To illustrate, Indian adults
use
 Facebook for making new fellows, and sometimes they make relationships more
worthful
suggestive of youth; vigorous and fresh
youthful
 by marrying with them. By way of conclusion,
although
technology
 has some negative aspects
on
Suggestion
of
people
Suggestion
peoples'
peoples
 lives, but I believe that it helps individuals to linger on and sustain their relations by interacting more and more.
Submitted by mabdullahanwar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
What to do next:
Look at other essays: