The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph provides information about the percentage of free time
activities
of elderly people from 1980 to the present in the United States.
Overall
, At the beginning of the period, Internet surfing was the lowest experienced activity
, whereas
watching tv was the highest in percentage.
Besides
, the theatre
was the least significant activity
and the most popular activity
was hiking among people. The leisure activities
including reading and theatre
showed variations
except
remaining Add the preposition
forexcept
activities
i.e. hiking, watching TV and net surfing.
Initially
, in 1980, the
surfing on the Internet was about 5%, being less used Correct article usage
apply
activity
and it steadily increased to 10% and 15% in 1990 and 2000 respectively, rocketed
to 60% in 2010.
The leisure Correct word choice
and rocketed
activity
of hiking had consistent
growth of 20% for each succeeding year during 1980-2010, becoming the highest among other Add an article
a consistent
activities
by outracing the 65 percent
of watching TV
which was 60% in the initial year of 1980, Change the spelling
per cent
although
it showed a considerable increase in 2000.
Conversely
, reading activity
increased moderately by 10% in 1990, which was 30% in 1980 but dropped sharply by 20% in 2000, eventually leaped
to 40% in 2010 crossing the percentage of Change the spelling
leapt
theatre
activity
. Although
the highest engaged activity
was theatre
(50%) compared to reading initially
in 1980, It downgraded in both years 1990 and 2000 with 30% and 40% respectively,
experiencing an upward growth of 45% in the present considering the fluctuations among both the above-mentioned activities
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although, initially".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, activity, theatre with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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