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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart and table below give information about population figures in Japan. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #population #figures #japan #summarise #features #comparisons
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The chart compares
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
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 of citizens in Japan from 1950 to 2005
,
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apply
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 and makes predictions for 2035 and 2055.
While
Linking Words
 table demonstrates
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
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 and percentage of people aged 65 and above in that period. (34)
Overall
Linking Words
, the
population
Use synonyms
 of Japan increased until 2005 and
then
Linking Words
 it decreased with predictions to decline in future too. In comparison, starting from 84.1
million
Use synonyms
 in 1950, the
population
Use synonyms
 of Japan increased gradually to 127.8
million
Use synonyms
 in 2015.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the predictions for 2035 and 2055 represent that
this
Linking Words
 figure will decline to 110
million
Use synonyms
 and 89.9
million
Use synonyms
 respectively. (58)
While
Linking Words
,
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apply
show examples
 the table shows that people aged 65 and above accounted
4.1
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for 4.1
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million
Use synonyms
 (or 4.9%) of
total
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the total
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population
Use synonyms
 in 1950.
This
Linking Words
number
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 rose surprisingly to 25.7
million
Use synonyms
 (or 20% in total) by 2005.
While
Linking Words
, prediction indicates that
this
Linking Words
 trend will increase to 37.2
million
Use synonyms
 in 2035, but slightly decrease to 36.5
million
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 in 2055
although
Linking Words
 it will
represents
Change the verb form
represent
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 41% of
total
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the total
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 at that time. (65)
Thus
Linking Words
, despite a series of growth in
population
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upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 2005,
this
Linking Words
 figure will stay approximately at 1995
number
Use synonyms
 in 2055,
Linking Words
however
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,however
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 the
number
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 of senior citizens will increase exponentially. (29)
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, population, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represent" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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