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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart illustrates the percentage of male and female executives in six different types of profession across the UK in 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.

The chart illustrates the percentage of male and female executives in six different types of profession across the UK in 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary.
The chart demonstrates the proportion of both genders who worked as
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an executive
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executive
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executives
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 in six multiple occupations all over the United Kingdom in 2007. (23)
Overall
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, the
number
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 of male
executives
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 was the highest for construction,
while
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 the proportion of female
executives
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 was the highest for teaching. In comparison, the
number
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 of female workers was slightly high, about 10, for advertising. For teaching, the
number
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 of females was dramatically high at 90 as compared to
male
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males
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 at 10,
whereas
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 the opposite is absolutely true for construction. A similar trend of
huge
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the huge
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 difference between male and female
executives
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 was recorded for therapists.
However
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, the
number
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 of male and female
executives
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 was exactly
same
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the same
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 for journalism at 50. A gap of 20 and 10
was
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were
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 seen between the ratio of males and females who worked in the field of science and Law. (115) In conclusion, the percentage of male and female
executives
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 fluctuated in all the professions, but the lowest ratio of both male and female
executives
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 was found for teaching and construction respectively. (31)

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, executives with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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