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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think they are the best people to talk to school students about danger of committing crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #school #students #danger #crime
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Crime
Use synonyms
 rates remain one of the most serious
concern
Suggestion
concerns
 for every country to eradicate or to keep them in control.
Lot
Suggestion
A lot
 of people are exposed to
crime
Use synonyms
 due to different circumstances they come across in
life
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. Needless, to say it often leads them to unending sufferings and mental scars they carry throughout their
life
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. Criminals have always been looked upon with
derogatory approach
Suggestion
a derogatory approach
 by the society,
however
Linking Words
 prison has proved a place of self-transformation for some. Prisoners are provided with books which are holy and spiritual in nature.
Importance
Suggestion
The importance
 of
life
Use synonyms
 is taught to them through various mediums to make them socially acceptable post their release.
For instance
Linking Words
, as per the recent study conducted by Indian Judiciary, indicates that around 30% of prisoners in Tihar jail portrayed good behaviour during their term after reading Mahatma Gandhi’s books on non-violence.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is quite evident that few realize their mistake and lead a new
life
Use synonyms
 as a responsible citizen post their release. In my opinion, it is quite essential for
such
Linking Words
 people to talk about how dangerous the world of
crime
Use synonyms
 is to school students. They can talk about
mental and physical trauma
Suggestion
the mental and physical trauma
 they underwent because of their trial and imprisonment. Through them students can be made aware of being cautious before giving up to situations and committing a
crime
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. Children can psychologically connect with someone who have faced these hardships in real
life
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, as they would understand it better comprehending with someone’s realistic journey rather than fictional account. To conclude, it is
noble idea
Suggestion
a noble idea
for
Suggestion
of
 prisoners to render their prison and
life
Use synonyms
 transformation experiences to school students in an interactive way. Children can become self-aware of how to handle
life
Use synonyms
 scenarios which might open the way of
crime
Use synonyms
 for them which has no road to return.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rehabilitation
  • redemption
  • real-life experiences
  • perspectives
  • consequences
  • impact
  • practical guidance
  • criminal activities
  • root causes
  • prevention
  • misconceptions
  • stereotypes
  • second chances
  • personal transformation
  • empathy
  • forgiveness
  • support
  • rehabilitation process
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