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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that media spreads too much negativity in the society that it is harmful for those, who grow up there. So you support the argument. Please discuss

#people #media #negativity #society #support #argument
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There are thousands of media channels and they need something to keep the content fresh. Some people argue, that media channels
are only focused
Suggestion
only focus
 on negative
news while other
Suggestion
news, while others
news while others
 consider it a tool for correction. We are going to discuss both the point of views in detail, and will try to conclude the discussion in a meaningful way. The argument concerning
spread
Suggestion
the spread
 of negativity
is
Suggestion
has been
 around for
quiet
to a degree (not used with a negative)
quite
 a long time. Those against it, argues that
such
Linking Words
 a wide spread of negativity alters our perception towards the
society
Use synonyms
, and gradually the whole
society
Use synonyms
starts
Suggestion
start
 accepting negativity as
norm
Suggestion
the norm
a norm
. It
also
Linking Words
 spreads
hoplessness
Suggestion
hopelessness'
hopelessness
 and
supresses
to put down by force or authority
suppresses
 the optimistic side of a community.
Psychologist
Suggestion
A psychologist
The psychologist
have proven
Suggestion
has proven
this
Linking Words
 in
numorous
amounting to a large indefinite number
numerous
 researches, that
childern
a young person of either sex
children
 take a huge impact of behaviours they see growing up and a small habit developed as a child, stays forever. They claim that negative approach of a
society
Use synonyms
 about everything becomes the core part of their personality which ends up developing a lack of trust in
eveything
all things
everything
. Some people supports the opposite and consider it a help for legislative authorities to device a corrective action. They
also
Linking Words
 think of it as an important source to know
whats
Suggestion
what's
 wrong and believe that, without knowing something can not be corrected and mark it as an
oppurtunity
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunity
 to protect them from any negative things that can occur to them. Drug
abuse
Accept comma addition
abuse, for
for instance
Linking Words
, is a typical example of
such
Linking Words
 claims. Parents must be aware of increased drug usage in
adlocsents
a juvenile between the onset of puberty and maturity
adolescents
, so they can talk to their children openly and make them aware of
harmful effects
Suggestion
the harmful effects
 of it. Without knowing
such
Linking Words
 things, they can never guide their
childern
a young person of either sex
children
 to avoid it.
This
Linking Words
 group of people argues that highlighting negative happenings
is
Suggestion
are
 more important than highlighting the positive news, because the aftereffects of both are entirely opposite. In my opinion, the key to a healthy community lies in balance. Negative news must not be spread
upto
Suggestion
up to
 a level where people stop believing anything positive, nor it
should`nt
Suggestion
shouldn`t
couldn`t
 be aware of any bad things happening. What we see today is
extreem
of the greatest possible degree or extent or intensity
extreme
extremes
 of both, either you will find a state channel in some developing countries claiming that everything is perfect, or some private media targeting some
perticular
unique or specific to a person or thing or category
particular
 segment of the
society
Use synonyms
 highlight only negatives. Media must act a reporter not an opinion maker and that`s a key towards healthy and independent
society
Use synonyms
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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