IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theater, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theater #waste #money #governments #services
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Governments in these days invest
money
Use synonyms
 not only public service, but
also
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on
Suggestion
in
 art and drama. But most people believe that
government
Use synonyms
 should invest more in public service and investing
money
Use synonyms
 on
arts
Suggestion
the arts
 is a waste. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because I believe that funding
money
Use synonyms
on
Suggestion
for
 public activities is more important and
also
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, I do not believe that make the provision
on
Suggestion
of
 arts is a waste of
money
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will support my opinion. On the one hand,
government
Use synonyms
 should spend more on public infrastructure because it will strongly affect the quality of the life. Public service investment means invest
on
Suggestion
in
 hospitals, schools and infrastructure facilities.
For instance
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, if the
government
Use synonyms
 spends less on education, so that, people of the country become less educated and it will badly affect on the economy.
Further
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, if they invest less capital on health sector, it will reduce the quality of the life and it will reduce the productivity of the
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 force.
Therefore
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,
authority
Suggestion
authorities
the authority
 should consider more about public facilities and qualities of the services and should invest more capital on it.
On the other hand
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, investing funds in arts
such
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 as drama, dance, music and drawings is not a waste of
money
Use synonyms
 because people need all of these for entertainment. Most of the organization, which conducts shows and dramas, should need
government
Use synonyms
 help to develop their duties because they are not profitable companies. When we consider the current situation, most of the people have tension and stress with their day to day life,
therefore
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 entertainment is very important medicine to cure those problems. As an example, now there is a trend to watch music shows and
theaters
a building where theatrical performances or motion-picture shows can be presented
theatre
 to reduce tension.
Therefore
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,
state
Suggestion
the state
states
 should invest a sufficient amount of cash on
arts
Suggestion
the arts
. In conclusion,
government
Use synonyms
 should invest more on public services and
investing entertainment
Accept comma addition
investing, entertainment
 facilities
also
Linking Words
 provide more benefits to the society. Because of that it is very important to understand the benefits of both
side
Suggestion
sides
 and better to invest according to the requirement to gain more results.
Submitted by pattersonishara on

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