IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to provide help and support directly to those in need. Others however prefer to give money to national and international charitable organizations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #support #money #organizations
It is undeniable that many people in the
world
is living
Suggestion
are living
 under poverty. Some people believe that it is better to care the needed one
directly whereas
Accept comma addition
directly, whereas
 others think that funding local and
world wide
involving the entire earth; not limited or provincial in scope
worldwide
 charitable
orgranizations
a group of people who work together
organizations
organization
 are more suitable.In
this
 essay both sides will be discussed in detail before reaching a final conclusion. People who choose to care and encourage the poor one directly believe that it is the convenient way to provide help for the right people.The most compelling reason is that
,
Accept space
,
they are more aware of the situations of the families or children from different reliable-sources and trustworthy people
,
Accept space
,
hence
 it helps them to act immediately.
For instance
, in social networking
sites
Suggestion
Sites
 like
facebook
Suggestion
Facebook
, nowadays users are sharing and posting the poor conditions of people without
home
Suggestion
homes
a home
 and chronic diseases, where most of them are showing with the live videos which can reach to millions of users in
short time
Suggestion
a short time
.
Majority
Suggestion
The majority
 of the people are willing to support them either providing finance for home or by takeover their medical
.
Accept space
.
Furthermore
, these actions can motivate others when respecting them in social gatherings. Despite of
this
, many others think that funding for charitable organizations are
more worth
Suggestion
worthier
.
Accept space
.
When you are helping different organizations,
it is reaching in
Suggestion
it is reaching
 the hands of people from all over the
world
,
Accept space
,
which can increase a feeling of
fullfillness
 and
statisfaction
the contentment one feels when one has fulfilled a desire, need, or expectation
satisfaction
.
Accept space
.
Many of the organizations have their volunteers all over the
world
 and through them we can easily contribute
for
Suggestion
to
 those who needs support.
For example
, when earthquakes and flood adversely affect Srilanka in April 2019
,
Accept space
,
people across the globe donate to charities either in the form of food and clothes or as money to help them to rise up. To conclude, Even though donating to charity organizations is a better choice
,
Accept space
,
in my opinion backup those who needs support directly is far beneficial to avoid the time delays and to encourage others to do.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: