Some people do not allow their children to participate in games, sports and competitions unless everyone gets a prize. Others think that children must learn to deal with wining and losing in order to be fully prepared for life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #games #sports #competitions #prize #life

5:02

Although

protecting children from unfavourable outcomes arising from different forms of physical and intellectual play is a natural instinct, it is

also

equally important that they face

such

situations in order to know how to manage them. In my opinion, it is necessary that a

child

is aware of both a winning and losing situation. On one hand, parents are afraid that that

children

Suggestion

child

may become upset after losing and throw a tantrum which would be

insconsequential

lacking worth or importance

inconsequential

for the parents.

Morever

in addition

Moreover

, they want to protect them from developing insecurities about themselves where a

child

may lose confidence in themselves. For

intance

an occurrence of something

instance

, if he/she works really hard and loses

Suggestion

a game of chess. The

child

may become depressed and at times may require therapy.

On the other hand

, a

child

needs to be prepared for the corporate world where they will face situations which may or may not be in their favour. In

such

cases, their

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

show

depict

Suggestion

depicts

gratitude when they win and show sportsmanship when they lose.

Such

qualities will need to be inculcated at an early age.

For instance

, allowing children to play in games

such

as cricket and

football which

Accept comma addition

football, which

encourages team building and leadership skills results in everyone taking home a prize. The winner

also

gets the

first

prize and the runner up

also

receives a small token as well.

Furthermore

, no one goes home disappointed and parents aren't discouraged from sending their children to

such

activities. To sum up, as parents or

caregivers we

Accept comma addition

caregivers, we

want to prevent any harm from affecting our

child

Suggestion

children

However

, we

also

want our children to become functional adults in society who are able to cope with every situation life throws at them; one that goes in their favour and those that does not.

Tue Nov 26 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

295 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people do not allow their children to participate in games, sports and competitions unless everyone gets a prize. Others think that children must learn to deal with wining and losing in order to be fully prepared for life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Universities and colleges are now offering courses through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce these increasing levels of crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare.

Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, and a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion