IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#visitors #attractions
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It is argued that
travelers
a person who changes location
travellers
travelling
 from overseas should be charged more than local residents to
visit
Use synonyms
 important sites and monuments. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea. ​ Maintenance of the historical and cultural attractions is the main reason for the argument to charge more to the foreign
tourists but
Accept comma addition
tourists, but
 in my knowledge, governments keep the fund reserved for
such
Linking Words
 places.
Also
Linking Words
 the states where these places are, already getting subsidies from the government.
Moreover
Linking Words
, foreign tourists
also
Linking Words
 contribute to the economy of that country where they
visit
Use synonyms
 by spending on a wide range of goods and services, like hotels, food, transport etc.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
 apart from
tourism industry
Suggestion
the tourism industry
, there are many industries related to the tourism
industry which
Accept comma addition
industry, which
 are benefiting and increasing the revenue of the
countries so
Accept comma addition
countries, so
 governments should encourage people from the rest part of the world to
visit
Use synonyms
 their countries. ​ Tourists always plan a budget before visiting any places. If they realised that the price is higher in a particular country to
visit
Use synonyms
 historical and cultural attractions, they would perhaps not prefer to go to there and may change their destination. Charging tourists on the basis of nationality is
also
Linking Words
 a short sighted view. Reputation is the base of tourism industry so
this
Linking Words
 idea won’t help to promote the nation’s cultural heritage. The relationship of the country and their tourists are like
host
Suggestion
a host
the host
 and guest and if
this
Linking Words
 relationship is cordial, there would be no risk of insufficient funding or the damage
of
Suggestion
to
 reputation. ​ To conclude, I believe that it would be counterproductive to make them pay more than local residents so every effort should be made to attract tourists from overseas.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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