IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that elderly employees are more useful to a company, while others believe that young employees are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #employees #company
It is argued that senior workers are more beneficial to an organisation while some people opine that the junior employees are more productive.
Although
 young people can complete a project within a suitable timeline, I believe that the
experience
 of the elderly is more advantageous to a company. There are some who believe that entry-level employees are favourable because they help a company by quickly
completely
Suggestion
completing
complete
 a project.
This
 is to say, that junior people are usually more
engergatic
possessing or exerting or displaying energy
energetic
 and they are eager to learn new
methodes
a way of doing something, especially a systematic way; implies an orderly logical arrangement (usually in steps)
methods
 and technologies, and because of
this
 motivation they put their focus into their jobs and get boost the company’s productivity with haste.
For instance
, a report published in The Guardian stated that, the companies who hires more young people
,
Accept space
,
sees a massive surge in their profits within
first year
Suggestion
the first year
 of hiring.
However
, I believe that
experience
Suggestion
the experience
 of
an
Suggestion
a
 senior employee is
more helpful
Suggestion
most helpful
 in a longer term.
On the other hand
, the elderly people, with the help of many years of
experience
,
bring s
take something or somebody with oneself somewhere
brings
 stable productivity to their employers.
Instead
 of rushing through, they tend to perform a detailed analysis of any task which has been assigned to them, and with their expertise, they are usually able to solve problems that a young peer can not.
This
 is vital for most companies because long term projects are their constant source of revenue,
therefore
, they prefer workers with a long tenure of
experience
 because they can handle these projects in an effective way, removing any risk of bankruptcy.
For example
, an article published in the Forbes illustrated that the companies, who have less senior workers, suffer more from insolvency than the organisations who hire employees of every age. In conclusion,
although
 the junior staff can meet a
project’s
Suggestion
project
 deadline in a timely manner, the elderly workforce brings stability in the business, which is crucial for various companies.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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