IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #smoker #places
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Smoking is
major cause
Suggestion
a major cause
the major cause
 of
health
Use synonyms
 problem for
people including
Accept comma addition
people, including
 the person who smokes. The government must prohibit smoking in public place.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses about
health
Use synonyms
 issues related to smoking and
further
Linking Words
 importance of banning
this
Linking Words
 in common places.
Eventhough
Suggestion
Even though
 there are many programmes and advertisements publish in media to educate the public about the
significant
Suggestion
significance
signification
 of the issues related to
cigerate
finely ground tobacco wrapped in paper; for smoking
cigarette
 but
this
Linking Words
 is not resolved yet.
For instance
Linking Words
,
cigarate
finely ground tobacco wrapped in paper; for smoking
cigarette
 box
itself it
Accept comma addition
itself, it
mention
Suggestion
mentions
 that smokes is prime cancer cause of liver
cancer but
Accept comma addition
cancer, but
 smokers do not take it
serious
Suggestion
seriously
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 not only creates
Use synonyms
health issue
Suggestion
a health issue
health issues
 for
consumer but
Suggestion
consumers, but
consumers but
the consumer but
also
Linking Words
 for others.
For example
Linking Words
,
recent survey
Suggestion
a recent survey
recent surveys
 says that increased breathing problems among children found in family members who smokes often at home.
Therefore
Linking Words
, Smoking is harmful to everyone in the society.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Adicted persons can not control their bad habit they
continuously smoking
Suggestion
are continuously smoking
continuously smoke
 at common places
such
Linking Words
 buses and markets. People inhale smoke much higher than the smoker when they release smoke in public places. My son
get
Suggestion
gets
is getting
ashtma attack
Suggestion
an asthma attack
asthma attack
 rapidly when he stands near by a person who smokes for
sometime
Suggestion
some time
.
Linking Words
Therefore people
Accept comma addition
Therefore, people
 must not smoke in public places. In conclusion, Smoking
cause
Suggestion
causes
 huge damage in public
health
Use synonyms
 at home and common areas.
Therefore
Linking Words
 the government
must banned
Suggestion
must ban
this
Linking Words
 strictly.
This
Linking Words
 will prevent everyone from cancers and other
health
Use synonyms
 issues.
Submitted by collinslk on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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