IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are different opinions on how employees should
dress
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
, some t
hinks
Suggestion
think
that they should have s
amrt
showing mental alertness and calculation and resourcefulness
smart
dressing, while others believe clothing is not as important as q
uality
Suggestion
the quality
of
work
Use synonyms
. In g
eneral I
Accept comma addition
general, I
think
work
Use synonyms
 quality is more important than how a person
dress
Use synonyms
, unless it will affect their
job
Use synonyms
 performance.
First
Linking Words
 of all, if a
n
Suggestion
a
job
Use synonyms
 d
o not have
Suggestion
does not have
a required
dress
Use synonyms
 code,
then
Linking Words
 clothing is not something that should be concerned. Take software developer as e
xample,
Suggestion
an example
 they mostly
work
Use synonyms
 in office with c
omputer,
Suggestion
a computer
computers
 and don't need to talk to any client, how they
dress
Use synonyms
 is strictly not related to how they perform.
Job
Use synonyms
 performance should be a f
or
to a considerable degree; very much
far
more important than appearance, d
eveloper
Suggestion
developers
the developer
will be fired if they cannot get their
work
Use synonyms
 done, but s
eldomly
Suggestion
caused by poor d
erssing.
make or work out a plan for; devise
design
Moreover
Linking Words
, some of the
job
Use synonyms
 will rate safety and c
omfortness
things that make you comfortable and at ease
comforts
more than appearance. If someone
w
Use synonyms
ork
Suggestion
works
is working
has worked
i
n
Suggestion
at
on
a construction site, wearing s
uit
Suggestion
suits
to
work
Use synonyms
 is definitely not appropriate, as they usually limit body movement, it could make a worker less p
erformant,
a dramatic or musical entertainment
performance
 and accident a
re
Suggestion
is
more likely to happen due to improper dressing.
H
Linking Words
owever for
Accept comma addition
However, for
some occupation,
dress
Use synonyms
 smartly is helpful as formal dressing is helpful to maintain p
rofessional image.
Suggestion
a professional image
the professional image
 Imagine if a lawyer o
n
Suggestion
in
a court wearing s
portwears
a person who backs a politician or a team etc.
supporters
sportswear
against another lawyer with proper suits, most people with consider the one
dress
Use synonyms
 casually is not professional enough, and the judge will have b
ad impression
Suggestion
a bad impression
to the one whom doesn't properly. To conclude, quality of
work
Use synonyms
 should always superior than how employee
dress
Use synonyms
, unless the clothing is having a negative impact t
o
Suggestion
on
their
work
Use synonyms
, or preventing them to perform their
job
Use synonyms
 function properly.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: