IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Recently, abortion increases rapidly and becomes a controversial topic. Some people suppose that abortion should be legal while others are against it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#abortion #increases #topic #people
It is argued by some
people
 that
abortion
 should be legalised,
while
 others oppose
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 view. In my opinion,
abortion
 should be maintained under
law
Correct article usage
the law
show examples
.
This
 essay will provide an insight to both the views. On the one hand,
legalisation
Correct article usage
the legalisation
show examples
 of
abortion
 controls
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
infant
 mortality.
This
 means that the
governement
Correct your spelling
government
 will investigate
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their parents about the situation that
enrouted
Correct your spelling
en route
 for the child's birth, thereby making a strict
measure
Fix the agreement mistake
measures
show examples
 to control the rate of
infant
 mortality.
For instance
 in India, a new wing has been developed by officials to monitor the death rate of infants.
Secondly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bribery among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
doctors can be controlled if
abortion
 is made under
law
Add an article
the law
show examples
. There is a usual scenario among the doctors regarding the
abortion
 criteria. They may ask for more money from the accused, which can be controlled by laws.
Thus
 control of
infant
 death and bribe among doctors can be achieved by legalising
abortion
.
On the other hand
, the privacy of
people
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 disturbed by making
abortion
 illegal.
People
 tend to overlook
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the lives of other
people
 making
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life difficult. Studies done by Mumbai Univesity
reports
Correct subject-verb agreement
report
show examples
 that
people
 are disturbed by 30% more
due to
 the lack of privacy.
Moreover
, the criminal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of
people
 tends
increase
Add the particle
to increase
show examples
due to
 the illegal nature of
abortion
.
People
 become less aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 the
after effects
Correct your spelling
aftereffects
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminality leading to death in severe cases.
Hence
,life disturbance and criminality
tends
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to increase
due to
Correct article usage
the illegalisation
show examples
illegalisation
Correct your spelling
legalisation
of
abortion
. To encapsulate,
legalisation
Correct article usage
the legalisation
show examples
 of
abortion
 reduces
infant
 mortality and controls the
bribary
Correct your spelling
bribery
, which cannot be attained by making it illegal.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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