IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #health #future
While medical science has made many achievements
for
Suggestion
in
 improving the public's
health
,
`due
engage in
do
 current human's actions, many deadly diseases are still prevailing among the masses. Due
this
 it can be predicted that in the
future
 the average level of people's
health
 will be reduced.
This
 essay completely agrees with
this
 notion because
from
Suggestion
of
 the current sedentary
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
, dietary habits of people and
rise
Suggestion
a rise
 in the pollution level it can be presumed that heath standards will be decreased.
Firstly
, it is undeniable fact that
in
Suggestion
at
 the present
time
 people are indulged in sedentary
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
. In
this
 case people do their
work
 by sitting on the chair for
long
Suggestion
a long time
time
 and they do little physical
work
.
For instance
, a software engineer
work
Suggestion
working
 for a long
time
 by sitting on a chair in front of
computer system
Suggestion
a computer system
the computer system
.
Consequently
,
this
 practice generates many
health
 issues. If
this
 trend
continue
Suggestion
continues
 in the
future
, there would be the chances that people will suffer with more
health
 problems.
Secondly
, due to cut throat competition people
work
 for long hours and they have no
time
 to prepare their
food
. People mostly rely on
food
 from
food
 outlets and restaurants.
This
food
 contains huge quantity of saturated fats, which invite
plethora
Suggestion
a plethora
 of
health
 issues for human being. Since it can be predicted that people will become
more busy
Suggestion
busier
 in the
future
, there are quite
favorable
encouraging or approving or pleasing
favourable
 chances that in the upcoming days, due bad eating habits, more
health
 problems will exist among the masses.
Lastly
, it must accept that pollution level
is
Suggestion
has been
 on the rise due to ever increase in the number of industries and vehicles on the roads. The generation of carbon footprints in the name of developments
are devastating
Suggestion
is devastating
 the public's
health
. If
this
 trend continues, there would be huge chances that
more
Suggestion
most health
health
 problems will exist among the
future
 generations. In conclusion,
Although
 prediction of the upcoming days is a difficult task, it can be possible to draw the picture of
future
 from current trends. From the current life style of human being and bad
air quality it
Suggestion
air quality, it
 can be presumed that in the
future
 average standard of
human's
Suggestion
human
health
 will be reduced.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: