Some people use the internet to search for solutions to their medical problems. Is it a positive or a negative development?*

The
internet
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is used by many people to find a solution to medical
diseases
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. In my opinion, it is a positive development because it not only gives an alternative to physical exercise for serious problems but
also
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helps in curing minor
diseases
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. The primary reason why the
internet
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is preferred by many is that one can learn how to
cure
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some critical
diseases
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physically.
In other words
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, some
diseases
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such
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as lung
cancer
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can not be cured even after years of medicine. So, with the help of the
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internet
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internet,
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one can find a person who claims to
cure
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a crucial disease with the help of involving himself in some sort of physical exercise. Take,
cancer
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patients,
for example
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.
According to
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a report released by the Times Of New York. It has been revealed that almost 80% of patients who were suffering from
cancer
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,
instead
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of consulting doctors, took the help of the
internet
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and were able to learn about exercises to
cure
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cancer
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.
Hence
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, it is evident that the
internet
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is helpful for better alternative treatment of crucial
diseases
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. Another reason is that the
internet
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can help save money by giving knowledge of curing low-intensity
diseases
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by
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with
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natural remedies. The young generation nowadays trusts some older people who know how to treat
diseases
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like
cough
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coughing
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and sneezing naturally with whom people meet over the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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.
Moreover
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, it saves a lot of money to be paid to the doctor for curing
such
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diseases
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, where a doctor provides medicines that are harmful to humans.
Thus
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, the
internet
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can be helpful in saving a pretty penny and
also
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disease can be cured naturally.
To conclude
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, I wholeheartedly agree it is a positive development because it helps to find a better solution to serious problems
as well as
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to
cure
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low-rate
diseases
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naturally.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, but it could better outline the main points you will discuss in the essay. Consider briefly mentioning the two specific areas (critical diseases and minor diseases) in your introduction for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but some sentences could be linked more effectively to improve the flow. Consider using more transition words to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
While you provide examples, they could be more specific or detailed. For instance, when discussing the internet's role in curing cancer, more specific examples or studies would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Try to avoid phrases like 'consuming medicines that are harmful to humans' without evidence. Instead, you could say that some people prefer natural remedies due to concerns about potential side effects of medicines, which is a more neutral way to present the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents both sides of the argument (serious problems and minor diseases), which shows a well-rounded perspective.
task achievement
The use of real-world references, such as the Times Of New York report, lends credibility to your argument and engages the reader's interest.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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