advantages and disadvantages between workers and factories

The table illustrates the figures of employees and factories from 1851 to 1901 in England and Wales.

Besides

, it

also

shows the difference between genders. Overall, total employees dropped dramatically in 1861 and 1871, decreased around 186,000 and 151,000 people respectively. Meanwhile, the numbers of factories met a surprised growth in 1871, increased around 400 during

last 10 years

Suggestion

the last 10 years

In addition

, factories' numbers remained stable afterward.

However

, total numbers of employees decayed all over from 1881 to 1901, in 1901 the

employees

Suggestion

employee's

employee

only half percentage of employees in 1881.

Furthermore

, female workers kept decreasing in past 50 years. They used to have 190,000 of women workers in 1851, and only 30,000 in 1901, which was over 60% drop.

Moreover

, Male workers met more dramatically decay, more than 90% drop from 1851 to 1901.

Submitted by jenny1126 on Tue Dec 03 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

133 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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advantages and disadvantages between workers and factories

Fully explain your ideas

Students may have some problems with health such as eye strain and sleep issues because of the time mostly spent on laptop or computer. And maybe students become more adictted with social media if they use it at school and at home.

Some people believe that advertisements aimed at children should be banned. Others argue that advertisements have a positive impact on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.