advantages and disadvantages between workers and factories

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The table illustrates the figures of employees and factories from 1851 to 1901 in England and Wales.

Besides

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, it

also

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shows the difference between genders. Overall, total employees dropped dramatically in 1861 and 1871, decreased around 186,000 and 151,000 people respectively. Meanwhile, the numbers of factories met a surprised growth in 1871, increased around 400 during

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last 10 years

Suggestion

the last 10 years

In addition

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, factories' numbers remained stable afterward.

However

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, total numbers of employees decayed all over from 1881 to 1901, in 1901 the

employees

Suggestion

employee's

employee

only half percentage of employees in 1881.

Furthermore

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, female workers kept decreasing in past 50 years. They used to have 190,000 of women workers in 1851, and only 30,000 in 1901, which was over 60% drop.

Moreover

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, Male workers met more dramatically decay, more than 90% drop from 1851 to 1901.

Submitted by jenny1126 on Tue Dec 03 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

133 words

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advantages and disadvantages between workers and factories

Fully explain your ideas

Tests and examinations are a central feature of school systems in many countries. Do you thinnk the educational benefits of testing outway any disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that machine translation is highly developed in today's society. Therefore it is not necessary for children to learn a foreign language. What's your opinion?

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays many young people are drawn towards dangerous sports. What makes them so attractive? What measures should be taken to regulate such sports and minimize the risks?

Some people say that, art and drama are as important as other school subjects especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?