IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

advantages and disadvantages between workers and factories

#workers #factories
The table illustrates the figures of employees and factories from 1851 to 1901 in England and Wales.
Besides
, it
also
 shows the difference between genders. Overall, total employees dropped dramatically in 1861 and 1871, decreased around 186,000 and 151,000 people respectively. Meanwhile, the numbers of factories met a surprised growth in 1871, increased around 400 during
last 10 years
Suggestion
the last 10 years
.
In addition
, factories' numbers remained stable afterward.
However
, total numbers of employees decayed all over from 1881 to 1901, in 1901 the
employees
Suggestion
employee's
employee
 only half percentage of employees in 1881.
Furthermore
, female workers kept decreasing in past 50 years. They used to have 190,000 of women workers in 1851, and only 30,000 in 1901, which was over 60% drop.
Moreover
, Male workers met more dramatically decay, more than 90% drop from 1851 to 1901.
Submitted by jenny1126 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: