Parents, usually mothers, stay at home to look after their families. People believe that for this they should receive a salary from the government. Do you agree or disagree and why?

Women often

deprioritize

Suggestion

their careers for raising their children or taking care of

elder

advanced in years; ('aged' is pronounced as two syllables)

older

people at

home

Use synonyms

. Some people believe that the

government

Use synonyms

should financially assist those women as a reward. I strongly oppose the idea as

this

Linking Words

will adversely affect the economy and

demotivate

Suggestion

working women class. I shall elaborate my stance with valid arguments and examples in the following paragraphs.

To begin

Linking Words

with, providing some sort of monetary assistance to the women staying

home

Use synonyms

will put a tremendous burden on the economy. Countries like India and Pakistan are already struggling to fight against major issues

such

Linking Words

as poverty and food supply,

this

Linking Words

approach will add an extra financial burden. According to the recent research of the UN,

poverty ratio

Suggestion

the poverty ratio

in the developing countries has doubled as compared to the past decade.

Thus

Linking Words

, the

government

Use synonyms

should focus on eradicating bigger problems rather than providing unemployment allowance to mothers. To elucidate my stance

further

Linking Words

, the initiative of awarding housewives will bring

demotivation

Suggestion

among working women. Those women are struggling hard to keep a balance with house chores and office tasks. They would be inclined to sit at

home

Use synonyms

and receive allowances

instead

Linking Words

of going out and making any effort to earn money. Eventually, the

government

Use synonyms

would end up paying all stay-

home

Use synonyms

-mothers.

For instance

Linking Words

, there are many families in the UK and USA that take unemployment allowance from the

government

Use synonyms

over false medical reasons.

This

Linking Words

idea will encourage people to stay at

home

Use synonyms

more and earn less. To summarize, the idea of financially assisting mothers is not rational from any aspect. The

government

Use synonyms

can assist these mothers in the form of insurance or free medical. The

government

Use synonyms

should

also

Linking Words

encourage housewives to invest their spare time in online jobs and earn money while staying at

home

Use synonyms

Dec 5, 2019

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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It is no longer necessary to use animals for food, clothing or medical research. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Throughout history, people have dreamed of living in a perfect society, but nobody has agreed on what an ideal society would look like. What do you think is the most important element needed to make a society perfect? How can the ideal society be achieved?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be build instead. Do you agree or disagree?

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