The graph below compares the number of visits to two new music sites on the web. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below
The graph shows people using new
music
places on the Internet in fifteen days period of time namely personal choice
and trendy pop
music
.
The overall
trend shows fluctuation with slight
Increased towards the end of the period.
Starting with Correct article usage
a slight
Music
Choice
websites; 40,000 poeple
went on Correct your spelling
people
this
new site on Correct article usage
the first-day
first-
Correct your spelling
first day
day
. Half of them backed out the next
day
. In Contrast
to this
Pop
Parade net sites were visited by 120,000 music
lovers on day
one which decreased slightly on the next
day
thereafter
regaining the same fame on 3rd
Correct article usage
the 3rd
day
.
After 3rd
Correct article usage
the 3rd
day
the enthusiasm for both music
lines on Internet dropped slowly- reaching maximum
fall of 40,000 on Correct article usage
a maximum
7th
Correct article usage
the 7th
day
. Whereas
Music
choice
gained popularity, slightly Improoving
to get the original strength of 30,000 viewers on screen, but was getting still Correct your spelling
Improving
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
visiters
than their opponent Correct your spelling
visitors
Pop
group i.e. 40,000 on day
7.
In
the Change preposition
At
biegining
of the Correct your spelling
beginning
signing
next
week
both gained remarkable recovery after a few fluctuations for Add a comma
,week
8th
and 9th Correct article usage
the 8th
day
having 40,000 and 50,000 visiters
respectively, reaching Correct your spelling
visitors
to
their peaks of one and a half thousand new viewers for Change preposition
apply
Pop
Parade on 11th
Correct article usage
the 11th
day
showing a contrast of very few people visiting Music
choice
for the same day
. Thereafter
Music
choice
gained popularity on 12th
Correct article usage
the 12th
day
for having more than 120,000 new visiters
on Correct your spelling
visitors
web
.
Add an article
the web
In
the end of the Change the preposition
At
period
Add a comma
,period
Pop
sites were visited by maximum viewers of 180,000 whereas
sites located to Music
choice
were not explored by more than 80,000 explorers on the last
day
of the report.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next, thereafter, whereas".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words music, choice, pop, day with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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