IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Why you think this is case? What effects this has on individuals and society in general?

#people #time #hobbies #case #effects #individuals #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Sparing time for one’s hobbies has been an uphill task now a days for a significant majority of people.
This
Linking Words
 may be attributed to changes in lifestyle of modern society as well people’s relentless race towards their professional careers. Without any doubt,
this
Linking Words
 trend is taking a toll on the physical and psychological health of humans. One of the reasons that people are moving away from their hobbies is the unending pursuit of their own careers.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, Long working hours and pressure of excelling in respective field has drifted people away from their hobbies.
In addition
Linking Words
, lack of luring opportunities to integrate hobbies into a full time career is another repellent for people to ignore their hobbies.
For instance
Linking Words
, a mother pushing his son to focus on academics rather than enhancing his skills in a painting can be seen as a fit example of prioritising long term careers over craft. Adding to these, another reason that may have aggravated the issue is lack of joint families in current times. Children in nuclear families often lack the encouragement and support that arises of the unconditional love from their grandparents to pursue their dreams.
Consequently
Linking Words
, not making hobbies as a part of daily life has come up with its own ramifications on civilisation as a whole.
As a result
Linking Words
, life is turning out to be monotonous and individuals are losing charm. Survival of the fittest is rapidly becoming the prime motto for the social animal. Community is lacking multi directional development and
as a result
Linking Words
 has become less coherent. Indeed, doctors are alarming on the adverse impact of sailing away from one’s hobbies on mental and physical health as our medical community directly sees a correlation between stress and the period that we spend to pursue our hobbies. To Conclude, survival in the tough competitive world has taken precedence over hobbies. Awareness of
this
Linking Words
 frightening trend in health and development of humans should be spread across on prominent platforms for maximum reach out to public.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, we will be fast becoming a society without a human touch in recent future
Submitted by babbababbaverka on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: