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Writing Samples
Band 4

It's generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for music and sport, and others are not. However, it's sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both ideas by giving your opinion.

#people #talents #music #sport #child #sports #person #musician
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It is true that selected individuals were gifted with talents in the field of
music
Use synonyms
 or sports while some were not lucky to acquire.
However
Linking Words
, others still believe that any child could learn these and become adept when taught or mentored. Admittedly, it would take a huge toll
in
Suggestion
on
 the child's body to become
skillful
having or showing knowledge and skill and aptitude
skilful
 in
music
Use synonyms
 or sports. They need to practice more often to sharpen their skills so that they could get better and these are not easy since it requires repetition and time.
However
Linking Words
, for
instace
an occurrence of something
instance
 a basketball player like Shaquille Oneil, who is towering over other players,
genetically
Suggestion
Genetically
 lucky since he has
huge advantage
Suggestion
a huge advantage
 to score more efficiently and become a good player.
However
Linking Words
, he
undermine
Suggestion
undermines
 practices and hitting on
gym
Accept comma addition
gym, therefore
therefore
Linking Words
 looses his chance to become the best player in the league.
Moreover
Linking Words
, children's level of patience
are
Suggestion
is
 short, they easily get bored and some may give up for
challenge
Suggestion
the challenge
a challenge
,
thus
Linking Words
 stops practicing.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are still some young aspirants
influence
Suggestion
influential
 by people whom they idolize in singing or through sports. They neglect the negatives and become more motivated to learn. These people are
coachable
Suggestion
 as they strive to become good since they may be passionate to learn
Linking Words
this talents
Suggestion
these talents
this talent
 which is drastically difficult to achieve,
such
Linking Words
 as celebrities that started singing so that they could impress and entertain their fans.
Thus
Linking Words
, a person with an ambition in life by pursuing
music
Use synonyms
 or becoming an
athelete
a subordinate or subsidiary associate; a person who is affiliated with another or with an organization
affiliate
 could pave a
way
how something is done or how it happens
Way
. To put it
on
Suggestion
in
 a nutshell, everyone
have
Suggestion
has
 the chance to pursue any career in
music
Use synonyms
 either dancing or singing, and becoming a sportsman.
Its
Suggestion
It
 is our decision if we wanted to become
good
Suggestion
better
 if we put some effort and time on it. It would be difficult for those who have no talents while it is not
garuntee
give surety or assume responsibility
guaranteed
 to be easy for those who have.
Submitted by jan.christopher.revillla on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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