Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree or with this

Jobs consume more than 30% of our daily time. As some believe that the main aim of each employee should be work directed rather than building a beneficial peer relationship. In my opinion, achieving both a coworker relationship and
exceling
distinguish oneself
excelling
in the job should be done simultaneously. On one hand, acquiring a healthy
work place
a place where work is done
workplace
has many personal and productivity related benefits.
Firstly
, employees in good terms usually assist each other,
thus
, more productivity.
Secondly
, a workplace full of support and less personal grudges,
does not only improves
Suggestion
has not only improved
the
workers
Suggestion
workers'
mood, but
also
enhances their outcomes.
Such
gains from a healthy peer
relatioships
a relation between people; ('relationship' is often used where 'relation' would serve, as in 'the relationship between inflation and unemployment', but the preferred usage of 'relationship' is for human relations or states of relatedness)
relationships
has numerous benefits.
On the other hand
, being target directed in jobs has various upsides.
To begin
with, giving more time on job tasks
instead
of
wastening
any general reduction in vitality and strength of body and mind resulting from a debilitating chronic disease
wasting
time on other activities can improve
employees
Suggestion
employees'
employee's
career,
hence
, being recognized by
bussines
a commercial or industrial enterprise and the people who constitute it
business
owners as a hard worker.
Such
focused directed
Accept comma addition
focused, directed
job has a positive result on each worker career. To conclude, balancing a healthy peer relationship without being distracted from their work will result
into
Suggestion
in
the best outcome.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: