IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In many countries, traditional food is replaced by international fast food. This has adverse effect families, individuals and society. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #food #effect #families #individuals #society
It is commonly witnessed in several parts of the world that convenience
food
 is rapidly replacing the traditional
food
 and is having detrimental impacts on people, their families as well as the societies. I firmly support
this
 belief and will discuss it in forthcoming paragraphs.
First
 and foremost, the trend of consuming finger
food
 in excess has deleterious effects on people and their personal lives. To illustrate
this
, there are health hazards caused by junk foods because they are incredibly high in fat and sugar. By consuming them excessively, health issues like obesity, high levels of cholesterol and cardiovascular diseases are caused.
Also
, the personal relations are interrupted
as in
Accept comma addition
as, in
 part, families used to cook and eat together, by which a quality time was spent together. But in the current scenario, it does not seem possible. On a broader perspective, the popularity of fast
food
 across the globe is
also
 disturbing the societies.
For example
, as people are inclined towards convenience foods, the traditional foods are
loosing
fail to keep or to maintain; cease to have, either physically or in an abstract sense
losing
 their significance.
In other words
, as every region has its specific
food
specialty
Suggestion
Specialty
, with the introduction of international foods, they are more likely to disappear. In
this
 way, the whole communities will face
unfavorable
not encouraging or approving or pleasing
unfavourable
 impacts in terms of losing their traditional values.
Finally
, by virtue of analytical study of the various aspects of the subject, it can be stated that even though fast
food
 seems convenient, it has tragic consequences for individuals and societies in the long term.
Submitted by Kavitha on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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