Some people say schools should be responsible to teach young adults to look after their health, others think this is not responsibility of schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #schools #adults #health #responsibility

It is believed by individuals that it is

responsibility

Suggestion

the responsibility

education center

Suggestion

the education centre

education centre

that they teach youngsters for their

health but

Accept comma addition

health, but

some think that it is

responsiblity

Suggestion

the responsibility

responsibility

of parents. But I

am agree

Suggestion

agree

this

statement and I discuss my view in upcoming paragraph.

To begin

with, there are many

reason

Suggestion

reasons

why

school

teach

Suggestion

teaches

is taught

to younger students about their

health

First

and foremost is that if

school

teach

then

they understand easily and many subjects are tech them which are related to their

health

Moreover

, parents are busy

Suggestion

with

their hectic schedule as well as most of the is spent in

school

by children. So they can learn more things about their

health

and how take care their

health

Moreso

, if

school

Suggestion

the school

a school

teach

Suggestion

teaches

about

health

then

young adults learn from different tutors and gain more knowledge about their

health

. In many education

center

Suggestion

centres

centre

Center

do experience compulsory

Suggestion

morning

time which

Accept comma addition

time, which

is very helpful

students

Suggestion

students'

student

health

as well as science is best subjects for students to learn deeply about human

health

. With these

type

Suggestion

types

of subject learner know about different types of disease and which food is healthy for

themself

objective case of they

them

themselves

To sum up,

school

best

Suggestion

the best

place where young adult learn about their

health

and become responsible. So it is the responsibility of

government

Suggestion

the government

that they provide more

aminents

standing above others in quality or position

eminent

education center

Suggestion

the education centre

education centre

for

health

purposes

Submitted by sukhsidhudeep88 on Wed Dec 11 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

222 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Nutritional education
Childhood obesity
Diet-related illnesses
Physical fitness
Sedentary lifestyles
Mental health education
Destigmatize
Coping mechanisms
Lifestyle choices
Information overload
Holistic approach
Well-rounded individuals

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Some people say schools should be responsible to teach young adults to look after their health, others think this is not responsibility of schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Some people think that government should spend money on building new train lines,while others believe that improving public transport is more beneficial.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

As housing is a basic need for people, the government should provide free housing for everyone who cannot afford it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?