Some people say schools should be responsible to teach young adults to look after their health, others think this is not responsibility of schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is believed by individuals that it is
responsibility
Suggestion
the responsibility
of
education center
Suggestion
the education centre
education centre
that they teach youngsters for their
Use synonyms
health but
Accept comma addition
health, but
some think that it is
responsiblity
Suggestion
the responsibility
responsibility
of parents. But I
am agree
Suggestion
agree
this
Linking Words
statement and I discuss my view in upcoming paragraph.
To begin
Linking Words
with, there are many
reason
Suggestion
reasons
why
school
Use synonyms
teach
Suggestion
teaches
is taught
to younger students about their
health
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
and foremost is that if
school
Use synonyms
teach
then
Linking Words
they understand easily and many subjects are tech them which are related to their
health
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, parents are busy
in
Suggestion
with
their hectic schedule as well as most of the is spent in
school
Use synonyms
by children. So they can learn more things about their
health
Use synonyms
and how take care their
health
Use synonyms
.
Moreso
Suggestion
, if
Use synonyms
school
Suggestion
the school
a school
teach
Suggestion
teaches
about
health
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
young adults learn from different tutors and gain more knowledge about their
health
Use synonyms
. In many education
center
Suggestion
centres
centre
Center
do experience compulsory
in
Suggestion
at
morning
time which
Accept comma addition
time, which
is very helpful
students
Suggestion
students'
student
health
Use synonyms
as well as science is best subjects for students to learn deeply about human
health
Use synonyms
. With these
type
Suggestion
types
of subject learner know about different types of disease and which food is healthy for
themself
objective case of they
them
themselves
To sum up,
school
Use synonyms
is
best
Suggestion
the best
place where young adult learn about their
health
Use synonyms
and become responsible. So it is the responsibility of
government
Suggestion
the government
that they provide more
aminents
standing above others in quality or position
eminent
in
education center
Suggestion
the education centre
education centre
for
health
Use synonyms
purposes
Submitted by sukhsidhudeep88 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nutritional education
  • Childhood obesity
  • Diet-related illnesses
  • Physical fitness
  • Sedentary lifestyles
  • Mental health education
  • Destigmatize
  • Coping mechanisms
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Information overload
  • Holistic approach
  • Well-rounded individuals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: